InTransit

I've Moved

2010-06-04T11:13:00.004-04:00

In the spirit of a no-longer-college life, I've moved to a non-college blog. It's doubtful that I'll keep updating this blog. Visit my new personal blog here, or my professional freelance writing site here.

On Pause

2010-05-21T22:27:00.005-04:00

As you may have noticed, I'm taking a little break from the blogosphere. I feel like I have a lot so say, but I need time to process everything. I prefer to do that right now by reading, laying in the sun, and walking a lot - not blogging. I need a little time to decompress. I'll be back, I promise. But for a short while, this blog is on pause.

I graduated...

2010-05-17T22:28:00.003-04:00

...more on this later.

Postsecret

2010-05-02T18:01:00.004-04:00

As I near the end of my college career, I wonder how many of my professors feel this way...
Part of me totally sympathizes.

I'm now approximately 96% of the way through my end-of-semester assignments. The comprehensive exams are done (and I got honors! yay!), the Sophie Kerr portfolio is handed in to the appropriate people, and my reading has slowly started to move into the "pleasure" category. Just two more days and I'm done!

Kick-Ass Movie Review (a little late... because I forgot I wrote it...)

2010-04-30T16:42:00.003-04:00

“Kick-Ass” is a funny, smart, and exciting take on the superhero movie, but it’s certainly not for everyone. Words like “revolting” and “morally reprehensible” have been thrown around in reference to the film, which is based on a graphic novel and features its fair share of violence and over-the-top gore. However, in the tradition of movies like “Kill Bill,” “Kick-Ass” uses that gore not for mere for shock value, but to satirize a genre and make a point. The movie cleverly shakes up the superhero genre and is hugely entertaining at the same time.

Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is a quiet, nerdy high school student who, on a whim, buys a green wetsuit off the internet and attempts to fight crime as his city’s first real “superhero.” Having no powers or skills, however, he quickly finds himself in over his head, at which point he discovers the existence of true superheroes “Big Daddy” (Nicolas Cage) and “Hit Girl” (Chloe Moretz). That’s where things start to get intense.

The title of the movie is a bit of a misnomer, since the movie pays equal attention to the plotlines of all the characters. Because there is no single main character, the story can seem disjointed at times, and not all the character arcs are satisfying. Kick-Ass himself is only a part of the story, and many may find themselves rooting for other characters while Kick-Ass spends a lot of his time wallowing in inadequacy.

The gore in “Kick-Ass” is nothing that hasn’t already been seen in any Quentin Tarantino flick or other movies based on comic books –the main point of contention for a lot of people, though, is the fact that an eleven-year-old girl is the one primarily doling out that gore (having been trained from birth by her father to be a stone cold killer). But Moretz plays Hit Girl with impressive self-assurance, and I find it hard to fault any movie that has a girl not only taking part in the action, but also dominating it (without donning a leather push-up bra or hotpants, no less).

Though Hit Girl tends to steal the stage, all of the characters are well cast: Johnson as the nerdy but loveable Dave/Kick-Ass, Cage as the creepy but also caring Big Daddy, and Mintz-Plasse (of “Superbad” fame) as the rich kid trying to get his dad’s approval.

“Kick-Ass” more than your average superhero movie, though, because it takes on a premise that most viewers never question – the assumption that superheroes like Spiderman and Batman are “good,” not to mention sane, despite the fact that they routinely murder people – and shows how deranged or deluded a person would have to be to actually do what superheroes do. Big Daddy and Hit Girl are basically Batman and Robin (Cage even mimics Adam West), except the delight they take in slaughtering people is a whole lot scarier than anything Batman ever did and the moral questions are much more far-reaching.

But mainly, “Kick-Ass” is just plain fun. It’s hilarious and dark, and definitely a movie worth seeing. Just don’t take a page on parenting from Big Daddy by bringing your kids or younger siblings to see it. The five-year-old girl sitting behind me in the theater didn’t seem to like it very much.

Looking Forward to Summer

2010-04-24T22:02:00.003-04:00

So as I slooowly inch toward the end of the semester, I've started thinking about the summer and what I want to do. I mean, I plan to make money (I have two jobs lined up), and take a summer course at the local community college, and I'll be thinking about my future and all that... but what about the fun things? The things I actually want to think about? Let's focus on those things, shall we?

Read. I want to read a lot. As I mentioned, I just got a Kindle and have been going nuts looking at all the cheap - or free - books available. I've been downloading, making lists, and generally reveling in all the bookness. I can't wait to spend hours in the sun reading whatever I want.

Cook and bake. Last summer Sarah and I met once a week to cook something new, and I did a lot of experimenting with an awesome vegetarian cookbook I have (not because I'm vegetarian, but because I love vegetables). I hope to do more of that this summer, as well as try out some recipes from my new cupcake book! Cupcakes shaped like pool balls, here I come!

Walk. And I mean a lot. Sarah and I plan to walk our dogs together as often as possible, and I wan to just walk more in general.

Also, drive. This'll be the first summer that I can go visit Corey and he won't have to make all the trips to see me! Plus, I've been driving all year and gotten almost totally comfortable behind the wheel, but it would be good to keep getting experience. I want to walk as much as possible, but I also want to keep it up with the driving.

Get some sun. Corey will kill me for saying this, but seriously. I'm as pale as pale gets, and I wouldn't mind laying out just a little and getting some hint of life in my skin. It would be nice if my legs didn't glow in the dark.

Enjoy it. This might be last summer without a real, full time job - in fact, I hope it is! So I plan to live it up, baby.

What about you guys? What are your summer plans/goals/hopes?

I chose this picture purely for my own amusement.

2010-04-23T14:25:00.006-04:00

I am currently working on what I now not-so-affectionately refer to as my Stupid Sophie Kerr Submission. Frankly, I’m hating this thing. If you don’t know, the Sophie Kerr Prize is a money prize given to one graduating senior for writing. Last year the prize was something like $60,000. So… I don’t know, it’s kind of high pressure, in that that’s a lot of money and I’m an English major and a creative writing minor, so of course I’m submitting a portfolio and of course I want to win. On the other hand, I’m realistic about my chances of winning – there are many, many great writers in my class – so it’s also kind of a pain. Not that I don’t appreciate the chance to win thousands and thousands of dollars, but… in a way, I sort of don’t, if that makes sense. I wouldn’t necessarily mind sailing out of college, just passing my classes and getting the hell out, nothing to worry about except what's happening after the graduation ceremony. Instead, I have this portfolio, and eventually the announcement of the winner (announced for the first time at graduation), looming overhead, and it doesn’t really feel... well, at the moment it doesn't feel fun or exciting or anything.

But anyway. I’m home for a few days for a doctor’s appointment and to finish up my portfolio. I think I needed to come home for my sanity, as readying this portfolio has gotten on my last nerve. Revising old essays and articles, looking over poems for (literally, I think) the millionth time, writing the “perfect” introduction; it’s starting to feel overwhelming. Being home, though, has made it a little easier for me to breathe. Hopefully I’ll be going back to school on Sunday with a completed portfolio that I can hand over and not think about ever again.

On the bright side, however, is my awesome new birthday present from Corey – my Kindle! Yes, Corey is insane and got me a Kindle. This may mean he never wants to hang out with me again and is simply softening the blow… or he just doesn’t realize how much I plan to read on that thing. Because let me tell you, it is awesome. I’m madly in love. I’ve already read two books, downloaded a third, and bought a rough-and-tumble case for it so I can take it with me everywhere. Whatever doubts I had about reading on an electronic device (you may remember my debate with myself) have disappeared, because it is just that great.

To be honest, an English major doesn’t seem to have much time for reading. Not for pleasure reading, anyway. For the last four years I’ve been taking at least two or three (or four) English classes per semester, meaning I’ve been reading multiple class-assigned books almost all the time. Now, though, well. I'm not going to be an English major anymore (a strange, slightly disorienting thought that I will not dwell on now). With my college career nearly over, I can read whatever I want! And, oh, I plan to. (I dare say it may re-Kindle my passion for reading! Har har.) With thousands of books at my fingertips, ready to be bought (usually for half price or less) and downloaded in a matter of seconds, I plan to read a whole lot this summer. Like I said, poor Corey. Such good intentions…

Super Sunday

2010-04-18T17:10:00.004-04:00

I know that's a really lame post title, but I don't care. I've used all my brainpower for the weekend writing my comprehensive exams, and now I'm done! Yay! I don't know when they'll let me know if I passed or not, but considering I managed to write two on-topic essays, I'm pretty sure I didn't fail. It was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be, though writing an essay covering five books in less than two hours was kind of tricky for me to pull off. In any case, it's nice to be able to stop having nightmares about essay topics like "the old man in literature" and "the effect of setting on story."

So anyway. Today is my birthday! And it has been quite lovely. My parents and Gram came to visit and took Corey and me out to lunch. They gave me lots of presents even though I told them I didn't need anything! However, being the intuitive person that my mother is, she realized I needed something that I didn't even know I needed: this book. It's a book full of amazing cupcake recipes. For example, I can choose from making cupcakes that look like little dogs (they explain how to make at least ten different breeds), flying butterflies, or a bowl of spaghetti! Honestly, you can't even imagine the possibilities. Now I seriously can't wait to graduate so I can move back home and bake cupcakes.

Speaking of graduation, now that I'm done comps there is, presumably, almost nothing that can keep me from graduating! I consider this a positive thing, despite the fact that I have very few plans or prospects. I do, however, have my entire summer planned out, money-making schemes included, so that's good. I mean, now that I have this cupcake book, I plan to set up shop on my street corner and hope for the best.

The F-Word

2010-04-13T21:18:00.008-04:00

I am a feminist. In fact, I’m a proud feminist. I believe in equal rights for women, equal pay for equal work, and the right for women to decide what to do with their own bodies. I think most people (or, at least, most women) would agree that’s a good thing. Maybe they’d even agree that they believe in those things, too. And yet, when I ask some of my friends if they, too, are proud of being feminists, they reply, “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m a feminist…”

Oh, really?

But you do believe women should have equal rights? You believe that men shouldn’t be paid more than women simply because they have penises? You believe women should have control over their own bodies?

You do?

Then guess what? Light bulb: you’re a feminist.

I feel like I’ve said this before, but apparently “feminism” is a far more subversive word than I realized. I hate to be pushy, but frankly I’m getting a little tired of having to defend what I think are some widely-shared opinions, simply because other people refuse to admit to a label that accurately and succinctly describes those opinions. I know many women are afraid to identify as feminists, because in subscribing to that label they may also have labels imposed upon them; labels like “man-hater,” “feminazi,” and even, absurdly, “lesbian.” Every time I think “feminist” might be losing some of those baseless associations, articles like Susannah Breslin’s most recent (inflammatory, ill-researched, rambling, and poorly-written) post pop up in my newsfeed and make me think twice. To quote Breslin:

“Every once in a while, I read Feministing, a ponderously feminist blog written by a collective of women who appear to be very angry about the patriarchy, misogyny, and, well, dudes in general, and they are not going to take it anymore, dammit!

To combat the rising tide of all-things-guy, they complain about sexism, posit themselves as victims, and agree to band together to fight an enemy that I never seem quite able to locate.

As a friend of mine likes to say: Isn’t this movement dead already?”

Yeah. Not exactly complimentary. According to Breslin, feminists are irrationally angry, actively seeking out nonexistent reasons to hate “dudes in general.” Harsh. Also egregiously untruthful. Because you know what? The patriarchy isn’t some made-up, magical land – it’s the world we live in, and for every woman's sake I sure hope that feminism isn't dead. Consider this: we live in a world where only 6% of rapists will serve time in jail, where 4 in 10 businesses worldwide have no women in their senior management, where women earn less than men in 99% of occupations, a world where many consider women too stupid to know what's best for their own minds and bodies. (Reflect for a moment on the meaning of that coat hanger image.) I could go on, but tell me: does that not sound like a patriarchal society to you? Yes, women have far more rights than they used to (erm, thanks to feminism), but that doesn’t mean we’ve reached equality yet, or that there aren’t people out there fighting to take rights away from women. Yes, those people actually do exist (*cough*SarahPalin*cough*GeorgeBush*cough*).

And to those of you who say that you don’t personally feel oppressed as a woman, well, in all honesty, neither do I. But is being white reason enough not to care about racism, or to pretend it doesn’t exist? I hope not. The fact is, just because I don’t personally feel the effects of sexism or misogyny right now, that doesn’t mean there aren’t millions of women in the world who do. And it doesn’t mean that I won’t be feeling the effects of sexism ten years down the line, when I’m making less money than a man for doing the exact same job. Or that I won’t feel the effects of the patriarchy when I go to fill my birth control prescription and am refused because birth control is “against the pharmacist’s personal beliefs.”

As for those of you who simply don’t like labels, fine. I won’t force one on you. But maybe you should consider why you aren’t willing to bear a label that simply says you believe in equality for women. I mean, really think.

“Feminist” shouldn't be a dirty word. Yes, it has connotations that are less than flattering, but the only way to overcome those connotations is to change how feminism is perceived. The easiest way to change the perception of feminism, in my opinion, to wear the label proudly and unashamedly, and to be the best example of a feminist you can be. Can’t we at least agree on that?

Honestly, I can't believe that in my last weeks of college, this is what I'm most driven to write about. But I felt it needed to be said, yet again.

For You: WAC Zombies II

2010-04-09T00:15:00.005-04:00

So while I've been incredibly lazy about posting on my blog, I've been quite industrious in the non-digital world. I've been writing papers, studying for comps, revising poems, meeting with professors, making summer plans and trying my hardest to fend off intense senioritis. I'm really only here to say that I'll be continuing to do the aforementioned things for at least a few more weeks, so posting here may be sparse (graduating, after all, is my first priority...). However, in lieu of a real post, I give you this treat: Corey's winning 24-Hour Challenge movie! Watch part one here, then watch part two here (with bloopers!). It's quite funny and worth a watch, I promise.

New Spring Playlist

2010-03-29T20:45:00.002-04:00

There's a new springtime playlist posted if you're interested, just click the casette tape in the sidebar any time (or the one above, posted for your convenience!).

Waiting for the sun...

2010-03-29T15:15:00.004-04:00

So my burst of excitement and optimism? Pretty much gone, and replaced by overwhelming grouchiness. Basically, I was so caught up in the beautiful weather last week that I kind of stopped doing work. Instead, I walked around outside quite a lot and listened to the This American Life podcast. I went into town and drank iced coffee with reckless abandon, paying no mind to the assignments piling up on my desk! Really, it was a lovely, lovely week. But now I am left to pick up the pieces caused by my own foolishness.

This weekend, the gloom and doom of rain and mucky weather, coupled with the fact that Corey has been sick and bedridden for days, has reminded me that life is not all sunshine and butterflies! There is real, albeit utterly dull, work to be done. I have research to do, poems to revise, books to read, and exams to study for. Yes, I will be graduating in about six weeks, but that doesn’t mean they won’t keep giving me assignments until I do!

Thus, I sit here at my desk. Mainlining coffee into my veins while the only season of The Black Donnellys plays on an endless repeating loop in the background, toiling over papers and poems, worrying about nothing beyond the immediate future, the next assignment. I’m holing up here until the sun comes out.

As cliche as it is to say this, spring is in the air!

2010-03-27T00:16:00.007-04:00

Spring is everywhere lately (despite the fact that the temperature hovered around 40 degrees all day today). The air all over campus smells like flowers, everything is blooming (those flowers above are courtesy of the campus green), and it is truly lovely. Today I took a little drive by myself to the outlets in Queenstown to buy a new pair of sunglasses (mine broke last summer in Paris... woe is me, I know), and as I was driving down the highway and the sun suddenly popped its cheery face through the clouds, I felt that the true arrival of spring was imminent. Not only that, but that this spring, and summer, is going to be GREAT.

Yes, I am in an unusually optimistic mood. Maybe it's the new sunglasses ($7.50 at Old Navy, hells yes), maybe it's the beer I'm drinking or the pizza I'm eating, but I just feel it. I'm so ready for it! Frankly, I'm pretty tired of schoolbooks and paper writing; I'm much more interested in sunny walks into town and iced coffee. And it's not just that I'm lazy and I don't feel like doing the work (though I admit the recent gorgeous weather hasn't helped me maintain focus much) - I cranked out a twelve page paper the other night, no problem. It's just... the endpoint is so close right now, almost in sight, and I really can't wait to see what it looks like. I simply can't imagine a life completely outside of school. I can't.

Anyway, this is all basically to say that I'm excited. About the season, about graduation, about life! It's probably annoying, isn't it? But I don't care.

Summer Sentimentality

2010-03-22T01:05:00.004-04:00

Historically, summer and I have not always been on the best of terms with one another. Summer is too hot for me. It’s humid and my hair – cause for concern even on a good day – usually ends up looking like a giant ball of frizz no matter what I do. I’m prone to fainting in hot weather (far more often than seems healthy) and I hate to sweat. I much prefer winter, with its biting winds and scarf-appropriate temperatures. Much to my dismay, however, summer seems to be approaching absurdly early this year. As the temperature climbs into the 70s I feel completely unprepared for it, and more than a little betrayed by… I don’t know, global warming?

But still, even as I sit here mourning the possible and untimely end of winter, I find my mind unpredictably conjuring memories of past summers – powerful memories. I bought my first iced coffee of the year yesterday and immediately memories of working as a tour guide in Boston came rushing back – long, hot days spent dragging Italian high schoolers through the Freedom Trail, late nights and early mornings getting by on Dunkin Donuts coffee, and walking alone around Harvard Square on my days off.
Of course, all that reminiscing led me to think about other summers. Getting caught in warm rainstorms and heat lightning, roaming all around town (and around and around) with a huge group of friends before driving was a possibility, sitting on my back porch for hours just talking with someone. That almost-constant (but not unpleasant) feeling of being slightly grungy with humidity, a little sweat, sunscreen, and that unknowable extra something that makes everyone smell like the beach. It seems like the senses are on overload during the summer more than any other time of year – every memory is accompanied by the smell of salt or the sound of cicadas, the taste of mango water ice or the feeling of a fresh sunburn. My memories of summers – even those that happened five or ten years ago – are more vivid than any winter memories I have.

I can still remember the conversations I had with my best friend Sarah during the summer after we’d started dating our first boyfriends; all those nights spent walking on the beach until three in the morning talking about boys, the days spent rollerblading into town (and me, of course, nearly fainting on the sidewalk; Sarah triumphantly returning with a water bottle). I can still remember, play for play, the most epic ultimate Frisbee game of my life (which took place during an insane storm and involved heroic slips and slides). I remember all too accurately my first (awful) kiss, which occurred on a summer evening just down the street from my house. It seems that summer is the stuff of childhood and later, the stuff of almost all nostalgia. At least for me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, maybe summer isn’t all bad. Maybe I don't mind if it - the season or the feeling - creeps up on me a little early. Maybe I don’t really mind making new summer memories, despite my protestations. Maybe it’s worth the sweat.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2010-03-17T09:53:00.005-04:00

In honor of St. Patrick's Day (and my half-Irish side, and any excuse to post a Boondock Saints picture), I give you a marvelous St. Patty's Day playlist! (Note that you can always check out my playlists by clicking the cassette tape on the sidebar at left.) I love St. Patrick's Day, though I rarely get to celebrate it (for example, I have class from 4PM-10PM today, so who knows what I'll be doing). It always brings to mind "heritage day" in elementary school when everyone was supposed to bring a food from their background. Every year, about 99% of the kids in my classes brought Irish potatoes. Homogeneous upbringing: I had it.

How Do You Feel About Graduating?

2010-03-16T20:46:00.011-04:00

So while I'm not a fan of summer weather (the heat, the humidity, ugh), spring is fine by me. Spring is the season of my birthday, spring break (obviously), and the last leg of a semester - or, in this case, my college career. So let's see. The birthday this year isn't terribly exciting; I'm turning 22, which is kind of meh. Not nearly as exciting as turning 21. Plus, my birthday just so happens to fall on the Sunday after comprehensive exams, which is... well, okay if I don't fail the exams! Spring break is over. Which means one last thing: graduation is barely two months away. Which is... crazy.

But also awesome. Honestly, I'm really, really excited to graduate. I feel a lot like I did at the end of high school. I had a lot of great friends, and a few not so great friends. I had a lot of wonderful memories, and a few memories I wouldn’t mind forgetting. In any case, it was time to move on to something new. High school and college are kind of static states; they’re not meant to last forever. And living in small, somewhat isolated communities can get old after a while. I’m ready to get out into the world (outside of academia and dorm rooms and a town that doesn't have even one Chinese food restaurant that delivers) and experience something new, whatever that might be.

I know that people are supposed to freak out about graduating, and of course I have my own fears and anxieties about it. But on the other hand, when I graduated high school I was thrown into a new state, a new school, and a totally new way of living, all on my own. So graduating college is, honestly, a lot less scary. I’ll be moving home for at least a little while, where I’ll have plenty of friends who are also moving back home (or never left), as well as family. I’ll have time to explore my options and figure out what’s next. And although Corey won’t be two minutes away (which absolutely does suck), I know we’ll both be working towards changing that and eventually making a life together. Frankly, that’s a lot less uncertainty than I had going into college.

As far as figuring out exactly what I’m going to do, I’m still planted pretty firmly in “unknown” territory – and open to suggestions. I was talking to my 91-year-old neighbor the other day, and she asked me what I plan to do after graduation, to which I gave my standard response: I have no idea! My neighbor responded that whatever I plan to do, I better like it, because it’s going to be my job for a long time. But you know what? I’m pretty sure that’s not true anymore. Most of the people I know who have already graduated have tried several different things in the past year or two, and have plans to try even more in the years ahead. It’s not unheard of to graduate, try out a job, go back to grad school, switch jobs, move to new states, even new countries. I hate to sound so privileged, but I do feel like I have a lot of options (addendum: though I realize that the job market is rough, so it might not be easy!). It makes me excited for the future, not scared or overwhelmed.

Of course, as I start thinking about all the possibilities and getting completely ahead of myself, I have to remind myself that I still have two months and several assignments to go before I can jump into that whole real world thing. So back to homework it is!

But seriously: how do you feel about graduating? If you've already done it, did it live up to your expectations? If you haven't done it yet, are you excited?

Spring Break is for...

2010-03-05T13:58:00.007-05:00

Relaxing? Not exactly. Did you know that I'm graduating in only two months? Yeah, that is insane. And scary. And doesn't leave much time for "relaxing." In fact, I have several drafts of poems due next week, as well as a 25-page paper to work on, comps (those pesky little exams that decide whether I get to graduate or not) to study for, and... a postgrad life to plan! Well. Maybe I'll get to last one sometime next week. But I need to do everything else right about now.

However, I am taking this weekend off, completely. Because... when you're in college, something always needs to get done. Literally. There's always something you could/should be working on, so feeling 100% relaxed and worry-free, ever, is kind of impossible (especially during your last semester of college). But this weekend that is what is going to happen. I'm at home, I have a dog (that I have missed dearly) to walk, movies to watch, friends to see, beer and pizza to enjoy, and these freshly-made cupcakes:And you know how much I love cupcakes. Technically I made them for my gram, who just had her knee replaced (at 86; good lord that woman is a trooper!), but... it's not like she can eat them all, right?

Anyway. Though I plan to do absolutely nothing but veg out this weekend, I do have to make some plans for the rest of the month. So, this month I will...

Get that pesky Body Language paper done. It's actually a pretty interesting and entertaining topic for me (theories of Butler and de Beauvoir vs. the chick lit/flicks of today); it's just the sheer number of pages I have to churn out that's keeping me from jumping in. But I plan on getting at least a large chunk of it done next week, and hopefully handing it in the week after, and thus essentially finishing that class. After turning in that paper, all I have to do for the rest of the semester is show up!
Continue editing my poems. This isn't very difficult because I've been doing it all semester, and I've kind of gotten into a routine with my writing/editing. The hard part is going to be fitting everything else in and around that routine so it all gets done. I still have a lot of work to do and a lot that I want to accomplish... and the semester is flying by a lot faster than I anticipated.
Start sending my poems out into the world. My poetry professor suggested last semester that I start sending my poems to literary journals to be considered for publication, and I have yet to start doing that. I think it's the fear of writing yet another cover letter. But this month I will do it!
Start seriously studying for comps. I've been putting off even thinking about comprehensive exams, and it's probably time I start actually studying. I am less than excited about this, but... I do want to graduate, after all.
Remember to have fun and get out. Lately I think I've been isolating myself a lot. Whether it's the stress of getting things done or personal issues, I know that being alone all the time isn't the best solution (though I often convince myself that it is), and it doesn't make me any happier or less stressed. This month, though I have a lot to do, I want to remember to also focus on getting in "people time," where I actually, you know, talk to other humans and get away from all that tiresome brooding. Some of my best friends are home this week and I definitely plan on seeing them, so that's a good start!

I think the most important thing here is that I a) prioritize, and b) relax. Two months seems like an incredibly short time to get everything done, and you'll notice that I didn't even put "find a job" or "figure out what I'm going to do with myself after graduation" on the list. (Because seriously? How do people find time for all of that?!) It's overwhelming, to say the least, and a delicate balance of prioritizing and calming down is crucial. However, now that I've written this list and I have a plan, I'm going to take my weekend off, recharge, and start again with renewed vigor on Monday! Happy weekend, everyone.

Movie Review: Shutter Island

2010-03-01T20:03:00.003-05:00

Shutter Island is not the fast-paced thriller I thought it would be – it’s actually something much better. But that’s not particularly surprising considering Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio – the team that made The Aviator and The Departed such memorable films – are behind it. Par for the course, Scorsese and DiCaprio have created a moody, memorable film that haunts the viewer long after its over.

The story begins with U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels (DiCaprio) and his newly assigned partner Chuck (Mark Ruffalo) taking a ferry to Shutter Island Ashecliffe Hospital, a mental facility for the criminally insane, where a dangerous patient has recently disappeared. As Teddy investigates what appears to be a strangely convoluted case, made worse by his chronic migraines and recurring nightmares, a hurricane hits the island and all hell breaks loose.

However, it’s an eerily controlled, chillingly calm kind of hell. Shutter Island moves at its own pace, and those looking for quick thrills and cheap scares probably won’t be satisfied. This movie’s scares are the kind that sneak up on you slowly and linger in your bones, making you feel uneasy even when you think you should be relaxed. Shutter Island is full of a much more pervasive kind of terror than most contemporary thrillers.

The so-called “twist” at the end of the movie is hardly a revelation, and most will see it coming from the beginning, but that doesn’t matter in the great scheme of things. Much like Mystic River, which was also based on a Dennis Lehane novel, Shutter Island relies almost exclusively on characters to drive the story forward. Luckily DiCaprio, who carries the bulk of the film’s weight on his shoulders, does a fantastic job with his role. As in The Departed, DiCaprio plays an agitated, edgy character with impressive emotional intensity.

In fact, nearly everyone puts forth a solid performance in Shutter Island. Most notably, Ben Kingsley does an excellent job as the shifty Dr. Cawley, while Patricia Clarkson, Michelle Williams, and Jackie Earle Haley all stand out in smaller parts.

The look and style of the film is interesting, bringing to mind old mystery and gothic films (especially when coupled with music by Krzysztof Penderecki, whose classical pieces are heard in both The Shining and The Exorcist), but DiCaprio’s hallucinations and dream sequences make up some of the most compelling and sinister scenes. These scenes, along with many small and well-placed touches throughout the rest of the movie, do well to completely disorient and confuse, forcing the viewer to constantly second-guess what’s real and what isn’t. By the end of the movie, one may still be left wondering.

Shutter Island seems to be the kind of movie that opens itself up more and more with multiple viewings. There’s so much to take in the first time, it almost begs to be rewound and watched again. Unfortunately for me, doing so will mean paying full price, again. The Chester Five only gives student discounts to less than great movies... like Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Practice Makes // Poetry // Comedy

2010-02-27T16:11:00.011-05:00

Corey is the TA for an improv class this semester and, being the brilliant comedian he is, he’s doing a ton of work to help the students in the class become better comedians themselves. But the other day he mentioned that a lot of the students seem very resistant to actually learning anything – they treat improv class as “playtime,” and a lot of them don’t even seem to believe that improv is something that can be learned. They think that a person either is funny or isn’t, and that’s that.

Except, of course, that’s not that.

It got me thinking about improv’s (tenuous) similarities to poetry, and how many people think that poetry is a) something you’re either innately good at or not, or b) always good if it “comes from the heart.” The problem with this thinking is that if you believe it, you must believe that there is no way to get better at writing poetry – and that’s simply not true. Sure, you might have a natural affinity for writing poetry; you might think in lines and verse, or be really great at metaphors. But poetry is so much more than a good metaphor or a powerful emotion – you have to be able to harness those things and make them into something worth listening to. You have to be able to control and manipulate and understand language in order to make it truly powerful. And to do that, you have to know a thing or two about the discipline of poetry. Or, as my professor would say:

“She says that her students often have strange misconceptions about writing poetry – that there are no rules… Her job is to show them that the distinction between good and mediocre writing is not as subjective as they might imagine.”

Poetry has rules and guidelines like any other craft. There are things you can point to that make a poem great, and things that clearly make a poem less than great. Just because poetry is often fueled by emotion doesn’t mean it can be sloppy and hackneyed and still be good.

The same goes for comedy. “Funny,” like poetry, is not a completely subjective idea. You might be naturally witty, but that’s not everything. Every craft has its own terms and language to be learned. There's a whole language to master in comedy; a different kind of language than poetry, but a language no less. It's a language of the body, a language of storytelling and buildup and give and take. It's very rare to simply be given all the talent you need to be excellent. If you honestly want to master your craft, you need to practice and do research and actually listen to the people who are trying to teach you. To do otherwise is purely a disservice to yourself.

The Writing Update

2010-02-26T10:05:00.000-05:00

My Senior Writing Seminar meeting went really well yesterday! Yay! I think I’ve reached a bit of a stagnant point in editing where a lot of my poems are either pretty close to where I want them to be and I’m afraid to touch them, or I hate them so much that I don’t know when to stop editing them – and then I lose sight of what’s truly working in a poem. So I was starting to feel just... stuck, and reluctant to do any more editing at all. But my meeting with my professor helped me a lot in figuring out what my next move should be.
First of all, he suggested De/Compositions by W.D. Snodgrass, which is a book that “decomposes” great poems into... something less than great. It’ll take a fantastic poem like “My Papa’s Waltz” and rewrite it, conveying the same exact message, with the same rhyme scheme and meter, but in a less original or interesting way. Basically, it shows you how a great poem could go awry with the smallest mistakes (using clichés or dull, overused language, for example, or writing a poem in the past tense instead of the present). It’s an interesting book, and it’s already gotten me thinking about ways to make my own poems more lively, original, and lyrical.

Secondly, my professor lent me Patterns of Poetry by Miller Williams, which is an encyclopedia of poetic forms accompanied by example poems. I’ve never written poems with a particular structure in mind (beyond your basic couplets and whatnot) and I want to try molding some of my poems into stricter forms and see what comes of it. Some of my poems are already on their way to being sonnets, and I think experimenting with form and meter might be a way to break out of my creative box a little. I need to stop focusing on the intent of some of my poems, and concentrate more on language and lyricism. It only gets harder the more I edit and overanalyze things.

So that’s the writing update! I’m also getting into my chick lit/flicks vs. feminism paper, and I think it’s going to actually be a lot of fun to research and write! Though, I am considering using Twilight for part of it... so here’s hoping I don’t spontaneously combust in an English major’s fit over the incredibly bad writing. Oh, the sacrifices we make...

Current Obsessions [this week is apparently for the cowboys...]

2010-02-25T09:17:00.004-05:00

Time for another one of these posts! I’m constantly amazed by how quickly Thursday seems to roll around…Reading: I’m actually writing a paper on feminism and chick lit, so I’m looking for some really cheesy, stereotypical "chick books." Any suggestions?

Watching: Shutter Island this weekend! I will seriously freak out if anything keeps me from seeing this movie. Nothing can keep me from getting my DiCaprio fix. Nothing.

Listening: To Sarah’s country music mix. Hell yes I AM. I mean, just look at a sampling of lyrics:

Hay! That’s what I make
I make a lotta hay for a little pay
But I’m proud to say
I’m a God fearin’ hard workin’ combine driver
Hoggin’ up the road on my a p-p-p-plower
Chug a lug a luggin’ 5 miles an hour
On my International Harvester!

Seriously, that has yet to fail to cheer me up. Also: Party in the USA. I’m such a college cliché, but it was only a matter of time before I absorbed that song through osmosis after hearing it every single weekend (in the suite below mine) for the last six weeks.

Drinking: Barry's Irish Tea. I got a craving for tea when I had some delicious Teavana tea at Sarah’s over the weekend. Barry’s is a completely different taste, but equally yummy.

Eating: Gushers! Laura mentioned them while we were at the grocery store the other day and I couldn’t help but buy a box (and proceed to eat almost the whole thing promptly). Makes me so nostalgic for the days when Blythe and I used to buy boxes of Gushers and jars of pickles (yes, really) and watch movies all night…

Wearing: My new Penn State sweatpants! I’ve been needing new sweats for a while (my old ones are practically ripped to shreds… I wear my pants hard), so… I bought some. Yeah. They are technically men’s, and thus so much comfier.

Missing: My house. I kind of can’t wait for spring break – amazingly, less than two weeks away! I have no idea where this week went.

Making: Thank you cards! I have a lot of people to thank lately, which is nice.

Enjoying: My Gushers. Right now, at nine o’clock in the morning. Obvs.

Hoping: My writing seminar meeting goes well tonight… *fingers crossed!*

Penn State Trip Success!

2010-02-22T15:23:00.014-05:00

I went to Penn State to visit my friend Sarah for a few days, and I won’t lie: I had the best time. It was so much fun. Let me start at the beginning, though.First of all, I had to drive there. That probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, but to put it in perspective, a) this was my first time driving on the highway (or basically anywhere for longer than twenty minutes) by myself and, b) I am a big wimp when it comes to driving. I mean, I only got my license last summer, and since then my driving has consisted mainly of driving the five minutes to the grocery store and back. So I wasn’t terribly confident about making a four hour trip by myself. In fact, I’m going to pat myself on the back for being so crazily adventurous! In my world, anyway.

However, I do have a marvelous (…) GPS that gives me all the directions I need, so the trip ended up going pretty smoothly, aside from a couple of... snags. First snag: getting gas. It’s true, I have never pumped gas before. Crazy, I know. I have no idea how I went something like four months without ever filling my gas tank (of course, the five minute trips to the grocery store probably had something to do with it, and my mom did fill my tank once, but that is literally it). I’ll just chalk that up to thriftiness. Once again, good job, Claire! (Yes, it is necessary to formally congratulate myself.) So anyway, I stopped at some point to fill my tank, and could not get the pump to work. Naturally, I assumed I was simply an idiot who didn’t understand the simple art of pumping gas, so I continued to fiddle with the machine for fifteen minutes. Finally, defeated, I went inside for help… only to be told that that pump was, in fact, broken. I was a bit discouraged (though glad to know I wasn't quite as stupid as I had imagined), but I pulled up to the next pump and everything went well. A mission accomplished.

Second snag: technology foolishness. Somehow I didn’t realize that my GPS was set to avoid EVERYTHING: tolls, U-turns, highways in general, etc. I don’t know how that happened… but it did. Anyway, it was quite a while (and several narrow, winding, mountainous roads) before I realized what was going on, and even longer before I could pull over to figure out the problem. Long story short, my four hour drive somehow become a six hour drive. Rough. But I made it regardless, and was very excited to be at Penn State.

Once there Natalya lent me a parking space at her apartment complex so I could avoid paying 17 dollars per night, which was great, to say the least. Then Sarah and I got sushi takeout and went back to Sarah’s apartment to eat dinner with the forty-year-old woman who was also staying at Sarah’s this weekend (don’t ask). She was very nice and we had lovely dinner conversation.

The next morning I went with Sarah to the horse barn where she works every Saturday and got to hang out with and help feed the horses (and briefly ride the ATV), which was super super fun (my adjectives in this post are going to get worse and worse, I warn you, because I’m running out of ways to say I had a lot of fun). Sarah introduced me to country music (a disturbing byproduct of all the time she spends in Central PA... but I will admit that I totally rocked out to the country mix she made me for my drive home...). Oh, and we also got coffee, which was entirely necessary to make everything else happen that early in the morning.

That night Sarah and I met Natalya at Karma, an Indian restaurant, for a delicious Indian food dinner. Lots of naan was involved. After, we went out to a bar for a drink and got inspired to make a foray into the dumpster behind Panera Bread (Natalya is a seasoned dumpster diver). Judge if you must. Unfortunately, our foray was unsuccessful because just as we arrived at the dumpster, two people were leaving with all the good bags of bread (if you don’t know, Panera throws out all of its leftover bread from the day in clear bags, separate from the rest of the trash, which results in pounds of wasted, but perfectly clean and edible bread). But it was still an interesting experience.

The next day Sarah and I decided to go see the last few hours of THON. For those of you unaware, THON is a 46-hour dance-a-thon that raises money for pediatric cancer. All year, organizations from Penn State raise money for this event, and when it finally comes they sponsor dancers who have to stay on their feet in the stadium for 46 hours. It’s really crazy awesome, and everyone gets extremely into it. No, there is not a winner (aside from, you know, the many of families who are helped and everything), and you have to be a student at Penn State and be sponsored by a club or raise thousands of dollars in advance to be a dancer. So, to answer the question of many people who knew I was coming up for THON: no, I did not win. Sorry to be a disappointment, but… you just don’t win THON.

Anyway. Sarah and I went for the end – which is especially fun because for like two hours you dance in the bleachers singing “Livin’ on a Prayer” and all the Penn State songs over and over again – and got to see that this year’s THON raised 7.8 MILLION dollars! Crazy, right? Crazy. It was awesome. In all honesty, it’s one thing that makes me a little sad that I don’t go to a bigger school. It was amazing to see 15,000+ people all in one room (/stadium) coming together for the same thing, and feeling so proud of their school. I like my school (academically, it’s definitely been perfect for me), but we usually can’t even get 100 people to all do the same activity. I think my school has a low school spirit issue… it’s probably the lack of a football team coupled with the fact that no one understands what our mascot is (a “shoreman”? really?). (Addendum: Not to harp on the subject, but articles like this get written about my college. See what I mean? Ouch.) But of course I realize that no school has it all, and that Sarah gets tired of the Penn State mentality just as often as I get tired of this tiny town. The grass is always greener and all that. In any case, it was amazing to witness THON for the second time – and to think that this year THON raised twice what is raised when I went as a senior in high school!

This morning I got up at six (yes, I am a new champion of the early morning), said goodbye to Sarah as she went off to school (student teaching) and went to Panera for a quick breakfast before heading home – sans GPS problems. It was one of the best trips I’ve taken in a long time, and I felt oh-so-independent doing it! I’m a little sad to be back… back to doing homework. Back to regular life. And I always miss my high school friends more after getting to have so much fun with them for a few days. But still, silly as it might seem, I feel like I took a big step towards my own independence this weekend. In less than four months I’ll graduate, and “regular life” will become something completely new and different. So I’m glad that I’m starting to step out on my own a bit more. I’m getting more and more excited to see what the “real world” has to offer.

Current Obsessions

2010-02-18T14:54:00.008-05:00

I've decided to make my obsessions a weekly thing... cause I know you're constantly on edge waiting to hear about my latest beverage and music decisions!

Reading: Vanity Fair - the magazine, not the book. I don’t usually buy magazines (I went on a magazine strike when I realized how much money I was wasting on articles about women who saved their own lives with their sports bras… not that that isn’t a marketable skill) but this issue has an interview with Quentin Tarantino… and I have an entire day without any pressing obligations. What better way to spend it?!

Watching: Wolfman tonight! I think. If all goes well. I can’t wait to hear Benicio Del Toro scream, “I will kill AAALLL of you!”

Listening: To Quentin Tarantino soundtracks (as inspired by VF). Death Proof and Reservoir Dogs have two of my favorite soundtracks ever.

Drinking: Freshly-ground coffee from Java Rock in Rock Hall, Maryland. Almost as good as my favorite Saxbys French roast!

Eating: Godiva chocolate! How did I get lucky enough to get two boxes of it from my parents for Valentine’s Day?! Then there’s also the Russell Stover chocolate I just got in the mail from Sarah(!!)… but I’ll save that at least til tonight.

Wearing: My new B. Makowsky bag over my shoulder! Another present from my mom and dad, and I won’t lie, I’m obsessed with it. I love bags.

Missing: My dog! Yet again. Sarah sent a Doggy Snuggie for Spike in the mail, and I know he is just dying to wear it!

Making: A very long mix CD for a very long drive...

Mulling Over: The deluge of advice I received at last night’s Senior Writing Seminar meeting. Those meetings last for three hours, and I’m always left with a ton to process before I get back to writing.

Enjoying: This afternoon to myself.

Hoping: To survive the weekend! More on that later…

To Kindle or Not to Kindle?

2010-02-15T15:14:00.008-05:00

I’ve been talking to people about the Kindle a lot lately. Two of my friends got Kindles for Christmas, and I have to say, I started judging them immediately. These friends of mine are very smart, prolific book readers (and English majors), and I just felt that getting a Kindle was… I don’t know, really weird. Like a betrayal of the written word. Because isn’t part of enjoying a book all about seeing the cover art, and that new book smell, and the feel of the paper under your fingers? Or passing the book on to friends, complete with dog-eared pages and handwritten notes that only make sense to the original owner? Plus, how will I show off the pretentious books I’m reading if no one can see the covers (joking... mostly)? Thinking about it now, I guess this is how some people feel about the advance of the iPod and the death of vinyl.

But the other day I actually got my first real-life look at the Kindle, and I’m almost ashamed to say that it just might be growing on me. Having seen (the very book-like, non-glare, magnetic ink) and felt (the surprisingly lightweight) Kindle, I’m running out of reasons not to like it. No, it’s not the same as a real book. And there are certain books that simply can’t be recreated in electronic form (anything with pictures, for example; children’s books, coffee table books… and I have a feeling that a book of poetry would not translate well on the Kindle). But the thought of having hundreds of books at my fingertips (without lugging around a truly enormous shopping bag) is incredibly appealing.

When I was packing for college for the first time, I remember being so relieved that I had gotten an iPod as a going away present. No need to haul a hundred plus CDs to my miniscule dorm room – everything was on my computer and in this tiny, magical little electronic gadget. It occurs to me now that this same principal could very well apply to books, couldn’t it? I mean, this blog is all about life in transit – moving from home to dorm room and back again countless times, visiting friends in other cities, vacationing abroad. And eventually (I assume/hope), I’ll be moving into my own apartment, at which point I will either be forced to drag hundreds of books across the country in a U-Haul, or… stick my lovely little Kindle in my purse. It’s awfully tempting, isn’t it?

Not to mention that fact that books are cheaper (or, quite often, free) on the Kindle. It’s like how buying a CD went from costing about $20 plus gas to only $9.99 on iTunes with the click of a button while sitting on my own couch. Or, if I don’t like the whole CD, I can buy a single great song for 99 cents (similarly, you can sample chapters of books on the Kindle before committing to buying them). As a chronic book-buyer (I’ve never been big on borrowing books from the library; I’m partial to owning my books and rereading them), the initial Kindle price tag would probably soon be balanced out by all the books I’d buy for half the regular price.

And as for betraying the written word (or rather, publishing houses), maybe that’s not such a bad thing. This list from Galleycat predicts that in ten years, 95% of all reading will be done on screens (?) and that most authors will be indie authors, which is maybe not a bad thing at all. I’ve been complaining for ages about how publishing houses are publishing crap, flash-in-the-pan chick lit and total junk like Twilight because they know it’ll sell – for the moment. They don’t care if it’s a good book as long as it’s sellable/trendy/appeals to the idiotic masses that want nothing more than a beach read that they can leave at the airport, while some truly great authors never get published at all! Sorry, let me calm down for a moment. Anyway. Maybe taking some of the power away from those big publishing houses isn’t a bad idea, and maybe it would give some fantastic writers more of a chance. Newspapers are already floundering in the face of the internet and blogs (giving way to an abundance of new resources and opinions, some good, some bad); perhaps it really is just a matter of time before books go the same way. And maybe that’s okay.

Maybe I want a Kindle.

What do you think?

A Valentine's Day post wherein I (barely) try not to get sentimental and fail miserably.

2010-02-14T10:02:00.011-05:00

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, if you’re one of those, happy-hating-couples-day, you spiteful singleton! No, I’m kidding. I understand the couples hate on this completely unnecessary day of sappy love songs and public makeout sessions. It’s enough to make anyone run for the horror section instead of the romcoms (I’m assuming you celebrate Valentine’s Day by watching movies and devouring pizza like I do).

I myself have been fairly indifferent to Valentine’s Day ever since one of my high school boyfriends gave me a piece of loose leaf paper with a four sentence note written on it (something to the effect of, “thanks for making out with me so much”) in lieu of a present. Not that I need a present for Valentine’s Day; I really, honestly don’t. But a piece of loose leaf paper? It might have been better to give me nothing and avoid drawing attention to how little I matter, you know? Teenaged boys, take note.

However. (I know, nothing good ever comes of a however.) I feel the need to get a little sappy this year. So for this, I apologize in advance.

The thing is, I’ve had my fair share of boyfriends. More accurately: I’ve had my share of super lame, lazy, not-so-great boyfriends. Not bad boyfriends, per se, just… boyfriends that didn’t try very hard. Or – let’s be honest – at all. Not that it mattered; it was high school, and they were all fun at some point… but before Corey, I never, ever had a boyfriend that I could count on for anything. Again, it didn’t really matter because my life has been pretty lovely for the most part, and I never needed a boy to help me get through anything. I have friends for that (great ones, at that).

But then I came to college, and I didn’t know anyone, and I made some mistakes and basically everything sucked for the first several months. I was lonely, and I was living in a single and I was constantly inside my own head and I couldn’t find my way out. And then (can you guess what happened next?) I met Corey. He plopped down on the couch next to me in the student center and just started talking to me, out of nowhere, and making me laugh – and he’s been not only my boyfriend but, more importantly, my friend ever since.

Things have been wonderful (dare I say almost perfect?) for the last three years, and every day I’m thankful to have such a kind, positive, encouraging person in my life. But the last few months have been really difficult for me, family-wise, and once again I’m reminded why I love Corey so much: because he’s been my friend through all of this, the good and the bad, the awful times when I’m stuck in that dark place inside my head and need someone to help me find a way out. He’s never gotten angry with me when I’m a moody jerk, or frustrated with me when I cry. He makes me laugh every day, and he drives me to the grocery store in the middle of the night (during a snowstorm, for lady products, no less). He watches The Real Housewives of Orange County with me, even though it clearly makes him want to claw his eyes out. And that, my friends, is love.

Here’s to three years and counting. I’m so incredibly grateful for those years.

Current Obsessions

2010-02-11T08:40:00.000-05:00

Reading: A Heart breaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. It's good so far, can’t wait to see if it really lives up to the name!

Watching: Whip It. For the second time. It’s not quite the fast-paced, action-packed movie I was hoping for, but it’s still really, really good and full of girl power moments, Drew Barrymore punching people in the face, and Juliette Lewis being a badass. Cheers me up a little.

Listening: To Yo-Yo Ma Plays Ennio Morricone. Relaxing, inspiring, and one of the only things I can listen to while writing (most things break my concentration, but this seems to enhance it!).

Drinking: Sunkist Naturals: Berry Cherry Bountiful. My new juice fixation (I've been looking for something to replace Nantucket Nectar, which I can no longer find anywhere, for years). Half price right now at the grocery store, and so unbelievably good.

Eating: Loads of Chinese food. I’ve barely left my room in days, but one thing I have managed to do is eat an amazing number of dumplings. Something to be proud of.

Wearing: A Hanes men’s t-shirt from a 3-pack. I buy these because they are cheap and comfy, and because I tend to lose or ruin white t-shirts in a matter of just a few washes. I don’t know why, but for me white t-shirts are like socks in that way.

Wishing: To go outside and not be buried in snowdrifts up to my boobs. Apparently this is not in the cards for me right now.

Missing: My remote control. This might sound lazy and silly, but my remote control stopped working for no apparent reason a few days ago, and it’s made life unnecessarily complicated. The worst part: muting the TV is now impossible. I hate listening to commercials.

Hating: The snow. Mother nature. My TV. The world.

Enjoying (albeit begrudgingly): The extra time to write more drafts of my poems before I have to meet with my professor.

Hoping: For a heat wave that melts all of this snow before the weekend so my boyfriend’s play can go off without a hitch, my friends and family can visit, and I can once again leave my room (which seems to be getting smaller by the minute).

I can't see out my window right now for all the snow.

2010-02-10T15:23:00.007-05:00

You know what's one of the saddest moments in a person's life? The moment when snow changes from something awesome and wonderful to something that just royally screws up your day. Or, in this case, your week.

I hate to be a whiner, but this is the second time that a snowstorm has put a huge dent in my plans, not to mention my friends' and family's plans.The college has shut down for this entire week, which is crazy. I literally can't walk outside. It's just lucky I have Chinese food stockpiled in my fridge and coffee in my cupboard.

The thing that's really sad is that no one I know (including me) is excited about this amazing demonstration of nature. I mean, there were meetings I was supposed to have this week. Several meetings with several professors. Meetings I didn't want to miss. Sitting inside my dorm suite, I just feel useless and stir crazy - a big change from how I felt about the last storm of this magnitude. Remember the blizzard of 1996? The "storm of the century"? I was eight then, and that storm was probably the most exciting thing that had happened to me in my eight years of life. We got an entire week off of school, I spent my days sledding and having snowball fights, and I spent my nights eating pizza and watching movies with my brother and my parents. And that was all I wanted out of life; I could not imagine a better way to spend my time.

Now, years later, I'm in almost the same exact situation and instead of having a fun week off, it just feels like a week wasted. And that is making me feel very grown up. And more than a little depressed. When did I become so boring and mature that missing meetings started to upset me?! I mean really.

Anyway, I'm just writing to say that being grown up is really overrated. I want to be a kid again, enjoying snow angels and hot chocolate in blissful ignorance of "adult responsibilities."

What I Learned From Twitter Today

2010-02-09T12:05:00.010-05:00

As you may recall, I have a Twitter account. Honestly, I’m still not sure what it’s for or why I have it. I know you’re supposed to accumulate followers by following other people, and then you can disseminate information (like new blog posts) to lots of people you wouldn’t otherwise be able to disseminate information to. However, I have a problem with this: I don’t enjoy following people I don’t know. I don’t enjoy hearing about the lives and inane thoughts of people I don’t know. This means that I have only seven followers on my Twitter. So why do I keep it?
I’ll tell you why: celebrities. Yes, I follow several celebrities on Twitter. Again, I don’t really know why… except that I find it kind of hilarious to read the not-so-intimate, random thoughts of people like Yoko Ono. In honor of this strange part of my day, I will now give you some of my favorite celebrity Tweets.

Diablo Cody: “Making homemade jalapeno poppers today. The task requires peanut oil and rubber exam gloves. Feel like I'm reliving my sordid twenties.”

Russell Brand: “And in 33 years you're going to? Nail him to a what!? But we get chocolate eggs for that. I see. Where's my hammer I'll do it now.”

Mary-Kate Olsen: “Enjoying my relaxing day with Starbucks in my hand. Lifes Good!”

Barack Obama: “We don’t quit. I don’t quit. Let’s seize this moment – to start anew, to carry the dream forward, and to strengthen our union once more.”

Yoko Ono: “If the room is lopsided, just trying to leave a cup on a table becomes a drama. If our mind is lopsided everything we do becomes a drama”
And: “Rooms are frames of mind and apartment ads become today’s poetry, which is my favourite reading”

So what did we learn from all this? Let’s see…

First of all, many celebrities like to seem clever and cool. Diablo Cody in particular (not shocking if you’ve seen Juno). The thing is, seeming clever on Twitter is kind of like… well, I don’t know, but it’s not very impressive. Other celebrities use Twitter to further an image (Russell: weird, Yoko: freaky, in a zen sort of way).

On the other hand, some celebrities just don’t give a shit. Mary-Kate, I’m looking at you. It kind of makes me like her even more, knowing that all she bothers to Tweet about is getting coffee every once in a while (and no, she doesnt care about proper punctuation!). A Tweet from MK is a rare and exciting event, much like a shooting star. She is, inexplicably, my favorite celebrity, and I like that it’s clear that she’s not trying to impress anyone.

And finally, I learned that Barack Obama does not write his own Tweets. His ghost-Tweeter, however, is quite fond of quoting the most poignant parts of Mr. Obama’s speeches.

But what does it all mean? I guess... it means I didn’t really learn anything new. Remind me why I have a Twitter account?

(Winter) Cleaning

2010-02-08T23:54:00.004-05:00

I've been going a little stir crazy the last few days; for once I'm actually itching to get in my car and drive somewhere, anywhere! Of course (right?), this pushed me to remodel my blog. At the left, you'll now find some handy new buttons with a new "About Me" section, a new blogroll, links to my Tumblr and Twitter pages, and links to all my networking pages. I hope this makes the blog a little easier to navigate and eliminates some of the clutter, but please bear with me while I work out any glitches over the next few days!

InTransit Got Tumbld!

2010-02-08T14:37:00.006-05:00

I decided to create a Tumblr account, just for the hell of it. I'm planning on using it to post links, pictures, quotes, and basically anything that comes to mind that doesn't warrant a full blog post. I think it'll be fun, and another way for people to get to know me and my tastes (should you care to). Because, to me, this is what Twitter should be - a forum for "mindscaping" ideas and little snippets of life. Unfortunately, in my opinion, the 140 characters is too restrictive and instead ends up yielding nothing more than abrupt sentences about the weather outside.

I often find myself wanting to share an interesting article or idea on my blog, but the thought of devoting an entire post to the article seems pointless when all I really want to say is "read this!" But with Tumblr, links, quotes, pictures, articles, and much more can be posted and linked to in seconds without my even having to go online. So now, if you care to, you can keep up with all the junk I don't have the time or energy to post about on here! That may or may not sound like an appealing offer to you. ;)

But if you wanna check it out, here it is: { http://intransittumblr.tumblr.com/ }

Superbowl Sunday? Sure...

2010-02-07T18:16:00.012-05:00

While the rest of the world (or, at least, campus) congregates in small suite common rooms or the student center to eat subs and watch the Superbowl, I... am not. In fact, until I went to dinner and one of my friends asked me, "Are you excited for kickoff?" I actually thought the Superbowl had already started. In the afternoon or something. And that is why I'm not in my boyfriend's suite watching Carrie Underwood sing the national anthem right now. (Don't ask me how I know she's singing and yet I don't know when kickoff is.)

Anyway, I'm actually drinking a Dr. Pepper, dipping pita chips in my "Hummus Quartet" (four flavors! life doesn't get more exciting than that), and watching The Rules of Attraction, marveling over the fact that Dawson Leery (!) is somehow able to play Patrick Bateman's brother in a movie. (I'm sorry, but did Dawson just say "dick-sucking lips"? Yes, he did.) As a rule, I am not a fan of Bret Easton Ellis (I don't know why I keep reading his books; maybe I'm hoping he'll somehow change my mind, but he hasn't been able to yet), but I do have a soft spot for this movie, as I've noted in previous posts. Aside from the joyful little thrill I get from seeing Dawson Leery curse (among other, more obscene, things), I am constantly gratified by Ian Somerhalder. He and James Van Der Beek, excellent music, and some fantastic snippets of inebriated dancing (mostly from Somerhalder) make up for a really magical movie that is simply unexpected. And honestly, would you ever imagine a guy could go from this:To this?:That's only part of the magical mystery that is The Rules of Attraction.

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy my movie and Hummus Quartet while you are (probably) screaming at touchdowns and such. For me, it's toe tag time in Teenville tonight!

Snowpocalypse!!

2010-02-06T13:04:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I know that technically snow is a pain in the ass for a lot of people and maybe I should feel bad about this (and react like this)... but this snowstorm has me positively GLEEFUL. I think it is the most marvelous thing to happen in the new year! It's sooo much fun!

(And yes, I am a college student who has soup stockpiled in her room and can live in said room for several days without ever needing to leave.)

Last night I stayed at Corey's suite until about 1:30 in the morning because the girls who live below my suite were, of course, having a raging party that Public Safety never bothered to shut down (I don't blame them, the snow was about knee-deep at that point), and I knew that trying to sleep would be pointless until at least 3AM. Then this morning I slept in until 11:30, made some fantastically strong coffee, and sat down at the computer to read blogs, edit a poem, and watch people out my window trying to walk through butt-deep snow (yes, that was me laughing at you...). Sooo lovely! Of course, I'll be the one people are laughing at around dinnertime as I brave my way to the dining hall... but for now, I'm enjoying the peace and marveling at some of the biggest snowflakes I've ever seen in my life.

Oh, the people you'll meet!

2010-02-05T09:28:00.001-05:00

As happens with so many things, I’m finding my Senior Writing Seminar to be much more challenging than I anticipated. That’s certainly not a bad thing, but I do have a lot to work out.

As usual, one of my biggest problems is filtering through all the advice I’m getting. Again, not a bad thing – I’m so grateful to be getting feedback from multiple professors of writing. However, it is a minor problem that the professors I’m talking to seem to have fairly different ideas about what makes a good poem and what I should be focusing on in my revision process. It’s difficult to know who to listen to.

And so, industrious student that I am, I’ve decided to turn first and foremost to the teacher I never have to quibble with – books. I’m reading In the Palm of Your Hand by Steve Kowit, a book that comes highly recommended to me by multiple poets, and strongly considering ordering A Poetry Home Repair Manual by Ted Kooser (whom I’ve loved since he did a reading at my college). Hopefully these teachers will give me some concrete advice to lean on through the storm.

Secondly, I’m turning the wide world of the Internet. I know, I’m skeptical, too. But ages ago I joined a network called SheWrites, and then promptly forgot all about it. Well, I’ve been revisiting the site and finding that there are A) some great female writers on there, B) some wonderful discussion groups (like Poetry Social, where writers can talk about anything and everything poetry-related), and C) a huge potential for advice and feedback from many more writers. So, I’m giving this whole Internet thing another shot, and hopefully it’ll become yet another resource for me while I’m doing the grunt work of writing.

Current Obsessions

2010-02-04T09:00:00.002-05:00

Reading: American Psycho. Kind of the definition of obsession, right? Though honestly, I’m looking forward to being done with it and moving on to A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. All this murder is starting to get to me.

Watching: Weeds. Everyone keeps telling me I have to get into it, and the first two seasons are online at Netflix, so… here goes. I do love Mary Louise Parker, and I won’t lie, I’m dying to get to the third season with Mary-Kate Olsen.

Listening: To the soundtrack from (500) Days of Summer. A little twee, but awfully good.

Drinking: Saxbys coffee. My favorite coffee to date. So smooth, dark, and flavorful – everything you need for a good cup (or five) of black coffee! The only hitch is getting my mom to mail it to me every month.

Eating: The last of my Girl Scout cookies (thin mints). Sad face.

Painting: My nails with my new (gift card-bought) Sephora nail polish (Metro Chic). Such a simple little mood booster.

Wearing: My gorgeous new scarf from the Gap (over there on the right!) - also courtesy of a gift card, which makes it that much better! So pretty, so soft.

Craving: More yummy cupcakes from the bakery! That’s a craving I’m trying to curb, at least for a few more days.

Missing: My little doggy. Snuggling in bed with a book is not the same without him.

Hating: The poems that I’m attempting to edit right now. How is it possible that something you loved only a few weeks ago can morph into something you loathe completely??

Enjoying: Time to myself to read to my heart’s content (and, okay, watch some bad TV, too).

Hoping: For snow this weekend! Tons of it. I would not mind being snowed in for a few days.

A fairly long rant about professors and people who complain too much.

2010-02-03T15:05:00.009-05:00

I’ve been thinking about professors a lot lately. For no particular reason, other than the fact that people seem to complain about them a whole lot. It seems that no matter what, no professor is roundly liked by everyone – not that that’s shocking, but still. It often surprises me the criticism professors get, because I’ve had problems with so few professors myself.

In fact, I can think of only one professor – out of four years of taking classes – whom I actually disliked. But despite my personal distaste for her teaching methods, I can still admit that she wasn’t unkind, unfair, or bad at teaching her subject. I personally didn’t mesh with her style, that’s all. I won’t take another class with her if I can help it, but I also won’t tell other students that she’s a horrible teacher who everyone else will hate just because I didn’t like one of her classes.

And yet there’s an entire website devoted to “rating” professors, based on helpfulness, clarity, ease, and “hotness.” (Because god forbid you take a class with an ugly professor and aren’t fully prepared beforehand!) It amazes me, though, as I browse RateMyProfessors.com, that some of my favorite professors are considered by some, “vicious,” “arrogant,” “rediculus” (yes, I’m shocked! that this person didn’t do well in class…), “boring,” and that one has a “creepy briefcase” (gosh, I’ll have to look into that).

But you know what? If you don’t read any of the books for class, the professor probably will be boring to you. And if you don’t do the assignments or care about doing hard work, maybe a professor will seem a bit “vicious” in his or her quest to get you to care (though, for the record, I have never met a professor who I would describe as "vicious" under any circumstances). And some of the smartest professors are arrogant – because they’re brilliant, and as a college student you need to learn to deal with that if you want to get a great education, or pretty much ever interact with rest of the world. I don’t mean to be harsh, but I have personally taken at least one or two classes with each of these professors, and I know that they are all very good at what they do. They’re all smart, accomplished, and willing to help their students – if only the students ask for help. Which, of course, most of them don’t.

(As a sidenote, let me say that while perusing the site I was just oh-so-pleased to find out that my dad (a law professor at Rider University) is not only rated as “ABSOLUTELY TOP NOTCH,” but is also one of the sexier professors at Rider. Oh, the joys of the internet – providing answers to questions I never, ever would have asked!)

Then there are the rumors about professors, passed on from generation to generation. Rumors like, “I heard that this professor only reads the first page of an essay, so if you just photocopy the first two pages over and over again, he won’t notice and you’ll get an A!” Okay. Sure. Now I dare you to actually do that and see what happens, because the essays I got back from that professor had comments on every page (I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t chance it anyway). In fact, I’ve been hearing that same rumor about this particular professor since freshman year, and have yet to meet the person who supposedly experienced it. Rumors like these always seem to be perpetuated by that mythical being known as “the friend of a friend.” It’s like urban legends for the college set.

And of course there are the professors who are supposedly “impossible” to get good grades from. Well, sorry, but I’ve taken classes with many of those professors, too, and I can tell you (as can many of my friends) that it’s not impossible. If you want a good grade and don’t seem to quite be there, meet with your professor! Chances are, he or she is more than willing to help you get there.

I realize this is a really long rant, and I’m not saying anything new. I just get incredibly annoyed when students complain about how certain professors don’t care about their jobs, or care so much that they make getting an A too much of a hassle. Professors can’t seem to win (though they do win the jackpot for vacation time, so maybe it all evens out in the greater scheme of things). Just know that if you come complaining to me, I’m probably not going to be a terribly sympathetic listener.

Oscar Noms and Loves

2010-02-02T15:12:00.014-05:00

The Oscar nominations were announced and I am oh-so-excited! Of course, seeing the noms reminded me of how many movies I still have yet to see, and want to see really badly. But it's hard out there for a movie-lover in Chestertown, where the Chester Five favors movies like Beverly Hills Chihuahua over Crazy Heart or Invictus; not to mention Corey is in the midst of his thesis, meaning we haven't been to the movies in forever. Oh, well. Here are my picks - the people I want to win, not the people I necessarily think will win (those are two very different categories in my house!).

Actor in a Leading Role - Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart - Admittedly, I have yet to see this movie. However, my love for Jeff Bridges (The Big Lebowski, anyone?) surpasses most other things.

Actor in a Supporting Role - Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds - I don't think I could have loved the movie more, and Christoph Waltz was clearly the best thing in it.

Actress in a Leading Role - Gabourey Sidibe in Precious - I just love this girl. She seems like the most genuine, unique, deserving person. I think Meryl Streep deserves it, too, but it's not like she needs it. An Oscar for Sidibe would be a great thing for all of Hollywood, in my opinion. Shake things up a little.

Actress in a Supporting Role - Umm. I haven't seen any of the movies in this category. Oops.

Animated Feature Film - I'm inclined to say Coraline, even though I haven't seen it. Weird? Maybe. But I have a feeling I would really love it.

Directing - Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds - My love for Quentin Tarantino is one of the things that surpasses my love for Jeff Bridges. On the other hand, it would also be great if Kathryn Bigelow won for The Hurt Locker, because I don't think a woman has ever won an Oscar for Directing.

Writing (Original Screenplay) - Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds - Tarantino's dialogue is magnificent. Even in four languages. 'Nuff said.

Best Picture - Honestly, I don't think I've seen enough of the nominees to judge this one. I just really, really don't want Avatar to win. Because seriously? Yes, it had cool effects, but the story blew - and no one is even pretending that it didn't! Visuals alone do not a Best Picture make.

Nominees I desperately need to see: Up in the Air, The Hurt Locker, An Education, A Serious Man, A Single Man (ha!), and Crazy Heart.

What about you guys? Anyone have strong feelings on any of the categories?

Out With the Old?

2010-01-31T15:11:00.008-05:00

I've been on a bit of a cleaning spree lately (a common compulsion, I think, when one's room is roughly the size and dimensions of a large shoebox - not that I'm complaining; I love my single, but keeping it clean is paramount), but I've been avoiding the biggest problem of all - my wardrobe.

I own far too many clothes. Specifically, I own far too many shirts. T-shirts and tank tops are a huge vice of mine, and I've recently begun to think it's getting out of control. I wouldn't say I'm a pack rat by any means, but I do find it incredibly difficult to get rid of clothes. Whenever I think about throwing out some shirt I haven't worn in a year, I think of the one outfit that it looks good with... and I put it back in the drawer, just in case. Note to everyone else who does this: this is bad! It fills your room with junk that you don't need and will probably never wear! I know from experience.

Then there are the shirts that are basically unwearable outside the confines of my own room - the oversized t-shirts that I wear to bed (which would be fine, if I didn't own fifteen of them), the sweat-stained workout clothes that I almost never wear (I tend to favor my "cute" workout clothes instead... which makes no sense, but whatever), the too-tight T-shirts that I can only wear in good conscience under something else (and thus rarely get worn, or seen, at all), the shirts I've owned since I was fourteen that simply don't fit properly or are too worn out, the sweatpants that are shredded at the crotch/ankle/etc. and thus also go into the "unwearable outside my room" category... I could go on. The point is, I hate getting rid of my clothes, but it's become a very necessary evil.

I think one of the hardest things, though, is admitting when something I like doesn't look good on me. Like, despite how much I love that babydoll tank top with the green hearts on it... it makes me look like a pregnant child. With enormous hips. And now it must go in the "donate" pile. Similarly, no matter how much I wish for that shredded black Beatles jersey to make me look like a rock star... it's just not going to happen. Throwaway pile. And so on.

So, I'm spending today going through my drawers and closet and removing anything and everything that falls into one or more of the above categories. If I ever want to dream of buying new clothes again, I need to get rid of some of this stuff (and, of course, donate the better clothing). Of course, the real challenge will come when I go home for spring break and try to do the same thing in my much larger room... but that's another story, and I'll worry about that on another day.

Baked Goods Celebration

2010-01-30T11:27:00.005-05:00

This morning I officially finished my application for a summer poetry program, and I am sooo pleased! I had a very short time to scrape together a complete application and writing sample, and it was a bit of a bumpy ride (culminating in my near-nervous breakdown last night... but whatever whatever). But now it's done, it got mailed off this morning, and it's out of my hands, which is really a good feeling.

To celebrate, Laura and I drove to a bakery nearby for some delicious breakfast baked goods. Never has five dollars served me so well, let me tell you. I got a bottle of Nantucket Nectar Half & Half, a fresh-baked chocolate-covered doughnut, and a snowflake cupcake! Not all to be consumed at once, mind you.Anyway, it turned out to be quite appropriate, because as soon as we got home the sky filled up with gorgeous, puffy snowflakes! It hasn't stopped since.

In lieu of saying something interesting...

2010-01-27T13:21:00.003-05:00

A January playlist. Can you tell which movie soundtracks I'm currently obsessed with?

A Life From the Outside

2010-01-25T20:40:00.014-05:00

I'm trying desperately to think of something interesting to write about... unfortunately, my days currently consist of the following things: coffee (French roast), eating, reading (a lot), writing (poems), editing (poems), thinking (too much), letter-writing (I'm a fan of snail mail), renting movies (this week: Fame, District 9, Pandorum, Gamer, and Extract - and only two of those movies were good, can you guess which two?), many meetings with professors, working on an application for a poetry program, classes, driving to the shopping center, yoga, and walking aimlessly. I've also been in kind of a funk lately (I blame sibling issues), and I think I'm just starting to get out of it now, which means more writing, more thinking, and more coffee to perk me up! So... yeah. While all of that stuff fills up the days, it doesn't make for terribly interesting blog fodder. I really apologize.

Corey's senior thesis play is coming up, as is a visit from my mom and my gram, a visit from two of my friends, and a trip to Penn State, and that's all very exciting. But at the moment my life looks (at least from the outside) astoundingly dull. Though I prefer to see it as calm. But anyway, I want to avoid too much wishy-washy thinky stuff on this blog (at least for now, as I fear I could ramble for days about what's on my mind lately, but would probably be boring to anyone but me)... which means that I'll be in a corner for the next few days, thinking hard about something interesting to write.

It's good to be back.

2010-01-21T13:18:00.003-05:00

So I'm back at school, and it's lovely to be back. I had my first two classes yesterday, and both seem like they're going to be entirely interesting. The first one is about banned books and pornography (little did I realize about the latter topic when I signed up...), with a lot of feminist theory sprinkled in there, so frankly I think I'm going to love it! I mean, how can those subjects not be interesting? And writing papers should be a breeze.

My second class is my senior writing seminar, which I am absolutely loving already. We spent three hours last night telling the class about our individual projects, reading and listening to one another's work, and talking about our plans for the rest of the semester. There are only six of us, and we meet with the professor one-on-one often, so I think it's going to be a very unique and worthwhile experience. I really can't wait to get started.

So that's all for now! I hope everyone else's semester is starting off on the right foot, too.

Movie Review: The Lovely Bones

2010-01-18T15:16:00.009-05:00

So I spent the other night in the ER with food poisoning, which was super fun. Let me tell you, writhing on the waiting room floor in pain while Lady Gaga sings “Bad Romance” on TV is my new version of hell. Seriously. But let’s move on.

I did indeed see The Lovely Bones, but it’s been a few days and a case of food poisoning since so it’s not completely fresh in my mind. Thus, in the nature of expediency, a list:

1. Peter Jackson’s unrestrained use of CGI really is an almost unpardonable misstep. The scenes in the “in-between” of heaven or whatever are so tacky and overwrought, not to mention boring, that they really take you out of the movie. There’s no emotion, just a whole lot of fancy effects. Only once or twice did what was going on in heaven actually enhance the story, and the rest of the time it just seemed like Jackson was showing off. (And for what reason? We’ve all seen Lord of the Rings…) I know my mom is going to be mad at me for saying this… but she actually fell asleep during one of the drawn-out, pointless heaven scenes – and for good reason.
2. Obviously, it’s not as good as the book. Not by a long shot. It cuts out so much of the story, especially the individual storylines of each family member, so that if you haven’t read the book you’ll probably wonder why some characters are even there (like Susan Sarandon as the grandmother – she gets one scene and then pretty much sits in the background with a mixed drink for the rest of the movie). But I realize that if the movie had included everything, it would be a six hour movie, not a 2.5 hour movie. Still, Jackson could have cut almost every CGI-filled scene and added some more plot on Earth.
3. However, it does do one thing really, really well. And that is: it captures the pervasive sadness of the book. A scene with Susie’s parents right after they’ve gotten the news finds them crying on the bed and telling each other, “We’re going to get through this.” It rang true, and it felt devastating. Also: the movie built a strong, terrible sense of dread. The scene with Stanley Tucci taking a bath after murdering a young girl? Absolutely made my blood curdle.
4. It was very well-acted. Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, and Saoirse Ronan were all excellent. Though, some people I could have done without: Reece Ritchie as Ray Singh, Nikki SooHoo as Holly, and Carolyn Dando as Ruth. They all seemed like throwaway characters to me, and either the actors weren’t given enough to work with or they just weren’t any good.
5. If I ever hear Saoirse Ronan screaming “Daaaaad!” one more time, it’ll be too soon. Not that that’s her fault. But still. She only did it about two hundred times.

So there you have it. Not terrible, but… it makes me a little sad when I think about Peter Jackson’s Heavenly Creatures, which was another movie with a large fantasy element, but before the advent of so much CGI. It was simply made but so very powerful, and I think The Lovely Bones could have benefited from some of that emotional punch. If only Jackson could learn to lay off the special effects when necessary.

Girl on the Move

2010-01-14T23:34:00.004-05:00

I'm headed back to school on Sunday, and I have to say I'm glad. Things here at home have suddenly gotten tumultuous, to say the least, and I'm ready to get back to classes, work, and a regular, busy schedule. It's been a great break, but the days of reflecting, daydreaming, and writing from the comfort of my bedroom couch had to come to an end eventually. I'm tired of thinking about myself so much - I wouldn't mind focusing on a paper about feminist theory and pornography in Brett Easton Ellis's novels... or, you know, whatever my lit classes plan to throw at me.

I'm going to see The Lovely Bones tomorrow, despite awful reviews (I loved the book, so I'm curious), then out to dinner with my parents. Then it's time for packing, some last-minute writing (miraculously, I'm done 27 of the 30 poems I need by Tuesday!), and making a playlist for driving back to school! I'm ready to be on the move again...

Possibly the Worst Movie Ever: "Post Grad" Review

2010-01-13T14:00:00.010-05:00

So yesterday I finally got to see Post Grad. I know, you’re amazed that I even cared enough to say “finally,” right? But, as bad as it looked, I couldn’t help but want to see it. First of all, I’m only months away from being a post grad myself, so I consider any books or movies on the subject… research (don’t you question my logic!). And secondly, as a longtime watcher of Gilmore Girls, I was curious to see what Alexis Bledel was up to. So sue me. I rented it.

In a word: awful. Just awful. Somehow it actually managed to be worse than I expected, and not by just a little. A brief rundown: Alexis Bledel’s character (I honestly can’t even remember her name… it was something weird and trendy for sure, though) has just graduated from college with dreams of breaking into the publishing industry and discovering the next Great American Novel. Of course, she gets a reality check when she finds herself interviewing for said job with twenty other applicants, doesn’t get the job, loses her apartment, has to move back home with her parents, and can’t find anything better to do than sell luggage at a department store. Wah wah. Honestly, I think the general idea they were going for is a pretty relatable story. And Alexis Bledel isn’t bad; her character in this movie is basically an extension of Rory Gilmore, which I think was always basically an extension of Alexis Bledel. I think that playing herself is the only thing Bledel can do, and personally I think she’s fine at it. Not great, but good enough. Had they stuck to keeping the story about a college grad searching for a job in today’s economy, maybe it could’ve been a passable rom com, something I might look back on fondly as “that slightly relatable movie I watched right before graduation.”

However, any relevance the movie had to anyone was completely ruined by utterly ridiculous side stories about her family that were slapstick, predictable, stupid, and worst of all, pointless. Pure filler, and not even remotely funny filler. (Michael Keaton, what happened to you?! Seriously!) Throw in an undeveloped romance with the Brazilian next door neighbor and a “best friend who’s in love with the main girl but she doesn’t see it yet” storyline, and you have one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time. And it's not like I was expecting it to be even a little good to begin with. I mean, I expected the formulaic rom com plot, but what I didn't expect was the slapstick-y, corny, crazy family schtick. Like so many things, Bobby Coleman was the only good thing about this whole shitshow.

And worst of all [spoiler alert, though why you would ever rent this movie in a million years, I don’t know]: Alexis Bledel’s character actually ends up getting her dream job (unrealistic as that is), and she quits so she can follow her boyfriend to New York City. Are you kidding me? New York, Where she has no marvelous publishing job. In fact, where she has no job at all, or even any recommendations or prospects. And no way to pay that expensive New York City rent. Alexis, have you learned nothing about the economy?! You have to be high if you think that’s an acceptable ending.

Okay. So this whole rant is meant to say: how do movies like this get made? Seriously, how? How did no one look at this script and say, “Wow, you know, 90% of this movie sucks or makes no sense at all. Maybe we should do a little editing.” I mean, I say the same thing about Judd Apatow movies (I personally think almost all of his movies could be cut down by at least a half hour and a subplot), and those movies are pretty good! So how does something this craptastic get made?! First of all, who did they think the target audience was? Because I thought it was older teens and young adults, but clearly the ridiculous sideplots about the father selling belt buckles and Carol Burnett picking out a casket proved me wrong. So how did anyone think that this movie would make money? It got an 8% on RottenTomatoes.com – how did no one see that coming? Not to mention the lovely cast that was squandered; again I must ask, how on earth did Michael Keaton agree to do this movie?

I seriously worry about the state of the world when something like this somehow ends up in theaters. I also worry about the prolific overuse of italics to which this movie has driven me.

Questions I Get Very Tired of Answering

2010-01-11T11:03:00.010-05:00

As a senior in college heading into my last semester, there are a few questions everyone asks. It gets pretty old. Thus this passive-aggressive post.

1. What's your major? Well, I've been asked this since I was accepted into college four years ago, so apparently it never gets old. The thing that drives me crazy is that half of the people who ask this question just nod and move on after hearing the answer, because they really don't care. If you don't care, why are you asking? And then the other half ask...

2. What are you going to do with that? Teach? First of all, I don't know. Second of all, English majors do a lot of things other than teaching (which is why I'm so uncertain about what I'm going to do!).

3. What is your boyfriend going to do after he graduates? Um, why don't you ask him?

4. Are you and your boyfriend going to stay together? Maybe it's just me, but I can't help but feel that this is kind of a rude, intrusive question. If you don't already know the answer, it's probably not any of your business, so... how about you just wait and see?

5. Are you nervous about graduating? Especially with the economy? Of course I am. Thank you for reminding me.

What about you guys? Any questions you really hate answering over and over and over again (about graduating or anything else)?

Rejuvenating Haircut

2010-01-09T16:46:00.005-05:00

Spike got a haircut today! Doesn't he look young and dapper? Yesterday he looked like an old ragamuffin who was not long for this world, and today he looks like this. Petsmart is a veritable Fountain of Youth, I tell you. Oh, the wonders of a bath.

Overwhelmed By Books

2010-01-08T15:07:00.005-05:00

There are so many books stacked in my room right now. (Note: the picture above is not my room. But it might as well be.) My poetry professor recommended a bunch of poets to me, so I asked for those books for Christmas and got all of them. Then, my Senior Writing Seminar professor gave me my personal syllabus for class, which included several more books of poetry, which I ordered a few days ago. Then I went to Borders just to get lunch with Jon, and I ended up buying more books! I am a mess. Everything looks so good and I don't know where to start! I've peeked my nose into a few of the poetry collections, but I've yet to fully commit to one (and I'm also reading a novel, because I don't think that a person can read poetry all the time; there's too much subtext to parse through if you just want to sit back, relax, and enjoy a story... in my opinion). I've also started using goodreads.com to keep track of everything I'm reading, which is really fun (at least for me), though after hours of browsing and rating books, I'm sure I've only covered a fraction of the books I've read, plus I keep getting sidetracked by the site's book recommendations. I am truly lost in the world of books, and I love it.

In any case, I think I'm going to continue to dabble in some of my poetry books for inspiration, but fully commit myself to Temper first (a book that, of course, I don't need to read for a class - because those are always the ones you want to read the most, aren't they?). It's a frightening, dark, and captivating collection of poems that pulled me in immediately even while just browsing in the book store. I can't wait to really get into it.

Zen and the Art of Dog Walking

2010-01-06T20:32:00.012-05:00

Let me begin this post by saying that in the nine years I’ve owned Spike, from the age of four to thirteen years old (his age, not mine), he has not gained a single pound. Not one! Let me reiterate that: he’s been solid at 14 pounds for the last nine years. However, my ninety year old neighbor loves Spike, and ever since I went to college she’s taken him for short periods of time to keep her company. She also has a penchant for making him bacon and eggs for breakfast, despite my protestations (I kid you not). Last year her husband died, so now Spike stays at her house almost all the time that I’m not at home. So. Two weeks ago I went to her house to get Spike and bring him home for winter break.

And he felt… a bit heavier.

He also looked slightly rotund.

Worried, I consulted the scale. And found that he had gained three pounds in the last three months.

Okay, I know three pounds might not sound like much, but remember: he hasn’t gained a single pound in the last nine years! And he usually only weighs 14 pounds anyway, so an extra three pounds is a substantial increase in a small dog. And he’s getting older, so it’s not exactly healthy.

Anyway, to make a long story short, Spike is now on a diet. Not that he ever gets much more than dog food when he’s home anyway, but he is now on a strict “no treats merely for existing” diet. In other words, he doesn’t get treats merely for being cute anymore; he has to earn them. And how does one earn a treat? With a very long walk.

I’ve taken to walking Spike for about 45 minutes to an hour a day in an effort to trim off those extra pounds, and incidentally, I’ve discovered a few things.

1. Spike is woefully out of shape. Either that, or he’s just old. It’s hard to tell one way or the other, because while Spike still looks like a puppy and often still acts like one, he is in actuality thirteen years old and deaf as a post.
2. Despite being old and/or woefully out of shape, Spike is a good little walker. He’ll plug along for as many miles as you’re willing to go… and then, upon arriving home, immediately collapse into a deep sleep on the floor for the rest of the day.
3. Spike has finally learned how to heel. Well, more likely he’s just a lot slower than he used to be. But still. When he was younger he would constantly pull at the leash, stop to mark every blade of grass, and run after anything and everything in his line of sight. (So sue me. Six weeks of doggy obedience school couldn’t teach him to heel; I think he was already set in his ways. Point your fingers at him like a gun, however, and he will play dead very convincingly.) He's mellowed out quite a bit in his advanced age, and it's cemented my resolve to buy my next dog as a puppy and train him thoroughly in the art of heeling.
4. I like walking in winter much, much better than in warm weather. I just do. Bundling up in a scarf, hat, and gloves and walking until my legs turn red and numb is so much more fun to me than getting hot and sunburned. I can tell Spike likes it better, too, since on particularly hot summer days he has been known to lay down in the middle of the sidewalk and refuse to get up.
5. Winter keeps the stray dogs at bay. As far as I am concerned, my town is notorious for irresponsible dog owners. If you take your dog for a walk around here in the summer months, you are likely to run into at least three or four roaming dogs in one walk. They aren’t actual stray dogs, they’re just dogs that, for one reason or another, are not where they belong at the moment. Their owners don’t watch them properly and they end up getting out and wandering the neighborhood until someone finds them and takes them home. The problem is, at least half of them are not friendly towards other dogs, which is annoying as hell at best (the yappy little Boston terrier that nipped at my ankles for four blocks once), and scary at worst (the Pit Bull that bit my friend’s dog). However, I’ve yet to encounter a single dog thus far on my winter walks, which is blissful.
6. Spike doesn't poop nearly as much as he used to. I'm sorry, but it's true. And it's really a lovely development, not having to carry six trash bags with me, just in case.
7. Spike has started licking my couch cushions. A lot. Probably not a byproduct of all the walking... but it would be an interesting side effect.

This is all to say that walking is good (except for that last part about the couch I guess), and I’m going to be very sad when I go back to school and my walks with Spike have to end. Walking without a dog just seems fruitless and dull to me. But in any case, Spike has lost two pounds since he came home! He’s scheduled for a grooming this weekend, so I can only hope that getting a few ample inches of hair lopped off will eliminate that pesky last pound.

Borders is disappointing (and other things I learned today).

2010-01-05T15:12:00.007-05:00

Today I had my first ever solo outing at home with my car! I know, I know, I’ve been home for two weeks already and this is the first time I drove my car. What can I say, I’m a homebody. I don’t find many reasons to go out while I’m at home. Either that or my friends are so used to picking me up that they forget I even have a car now. In any case, I drove to Borders today for some books I need for school and to get lunch with my friend, Jon. Borders was greatly disappointing, I must say, and had none of the books I needed. I mean really, I needed nine books and they had not a single one! What are the odds? But I did pick up a funny book to peruse in my oodles of spare time, so it wasn’t a total loss. Anywho, I went out to lunch with my friend (Panera, the best place to go to lunch, of course), which was lots of fun, and then I headed home. And promptly got lost. And drove about aimlessly for a little while. In my defense, this was a Borders that I had not been to in years. On the other hand, driving there consists of basically driving in a straight line for fifteen minutes. But whatever. I did get home eventually, and I chalk it up to experience. The point is, I am a girl about town.

Also: The picture doesn't really have anything to do with anything. I just love me some Britney. And I'm definitely at least a better driver than she is.

Addendum: I also got a tasty cup of coffee at Borders for 38 cents on Jon's discount. I feel like that's worth mentioning.

And so starts phase two...

2010-01-04T09:53:00.004-05:00

...of my break. The slow, introspective, painstaking phase, where writing takes the forefront over everything else. Well, writing and reading. And cooking decadent lunches while writing and reading. And taking long walks with Spike while thinking about writing. There's really nothing like being a college student on winter break, is there? When else does a person get the chance to do exactly what they want, uninterrupted, for weeks at a time?

I do feel like I'm reaching a bit of a plateau with my poems, though. I think I've passed the phase where everything comes a little more easily than you expect, the words just pouring onto paper without too much effort. I'm not quite halfway done with the manuscript and I'm finding it harder to know when a poem is really good. I find myself showing my drafts to other people less because I'm unsure of them; unsure of their quality or even of what exactly they mean, or what I'm trying to say. I find myself reading a lot more poetry than I'm writing. I'm a little behind schedule. That's okay, though. It's only ten o'clock in the morning and I have two full hours before I'll start to get hungry for lunch, my craving for the turkey-avocado sandwich I have planned breaking my concentration. Spike is sleeping in today; he's barely moved since I got up two hours ago. His relaxation makes me feel tranquil, unworried about the task ahead; it's that kind of a day.

Yes, I am very critical. I don't feel bad.

2010-01-03T12:42:00.016-05:00

So I'm going to be a little crazy here and eschew any posts about new year's resolutions or top ten lists or anything like that. Let's jump right into 2010! With... a review of Avatar.

Let me start by saying that I did enjoy it, because by the time I'm done writing what I have to say, you're going to think I hated it. But nay, I did enjoy it at the time; though I certainly could have lived with it being 45 minutes shorter, I was never really bored. Just a kind of unimpressed. Let me explain.

First of all, the visuals were very pretty, and as we all know, very expensive. So great. It was gorgeous to look at. But. I'm definitely not one of those people who revels in special effects. I go to movies for the stories, and frankly, the special effects could be the most amazing ever (which maybe these were) and if the story doesn't hold up, the effects won't matter much to me at all. So, beyond Avatar's effects, I have to say that I feel like there wasn't very much there at all (and frankly I think that's a shame when so much money was spent to make it). The story was an incredibly generic "civilized man goes native" kind of thing (bringing to mind Pocahontas, or more specifically, Terrence Malick's The New World), with some war on terrorism mixed in there. Not that the so-called war on terrorism isn't worth commenting on, but I hardly think this movie made any new or though-provoking points. This review sums up a lot of my feelings on that subject:

But everything about the story, the setting, the dialog, and the parts that aren't purely visual is awful. It's actually worse than Dances with Wolves in terms of cultural imperialism. Like so many other "white guy goes back to nature" movies, it posits that the best native is in fact a white guy gone native. He was raised in the offending culture so he understands how it works, but he's also able to learn the native culture almost instantly, become an accepted member of that culture, become a better native than the erstwhile best native (usually a young, hot-tempered man), and lead the natives into battle, either showing himself to be an honorable leader or dying valiantly in the attempt. It's a bunch of racist hoo-haw, even if we're dealing with made-up blue Gumbys.

Beyond the uninspired plotline, there are the blue catpeople. AKA the "Na'Vi." I mean, James Cameron has $230 million to do whatever he wants with this fantastical race of animals/people, and he chooses to make them straight-up people... but blue. They have basically human faces and bodies that are, of course, attractive to humans (because if they weren't generically thin, well-muscled and attractive - albeit in a furry fetish kind of way - how could we possibly sympathize with them, right?), which facilitates the whole love story and is boring and predictable as hell.

Furthermore, Cameron so obviously bastardizes Native American and African culture to create the Na'Vi culture - yet he can't even seem to choose which one they are. There's the father, who is basically a Native American chief and is, fittingly, voiced by Cherokee actor Wes Studi. But then there's the mother, who's described as the "spiritual leader" of the clan, voiced by African American actress CCH Pounder, who seems exactly like an African priestess or the like. The rest of the clan is a hodge-podged mix of the two cultures (African and Native American), which means that the Na'Vi people of Avatar really have no personality or identity of their own. I mean, if you're going to pick a human culture and pretend you made them up simply by turning them blue, at least stick to one culture, don't mix and match for the hell of it.

And finally, my one last, extremely nit-picky problem with the culture - and this could be a bit of a spoiler (though you'll see it coming almost immediately, I'm sure), so don't say I didn't warn you: the kiss. When Jake and Neytiri finally consummate their love, they kiss. Really? Not even all human cultures recognize kissing as a form of affection, and I'm supposed to believe that these blue half-cat people with "bonding hairs" (used to "bond" with other animals) at the end of their braids kiss each other as their primary form of affection? It's just so... westernized. It doesn't fit. One minute Neytiri is a native warrior princess hissing like a cat, and the next she's jumping into Jake's arms like a lovestruck American teenager at the end of a romantic comedy. [end of spoiler] I just don't believe it for a second, and it brings me back to the essential problem: that Cameron seemed to spend very little time developing identities for the Na'Vi.

Aside from that... well, I always like some thoughtful commentary on Bush's War on Terror, so I give Cameron props for trying, but like I said, I don't think this was actually all that thoughtful. There was no compelling gray area - every character was either entirely evil (like the facially scarred colonel who was drinking coffee while he blew up Na'Vi homes), a meathead (all the soldiers who need little to no convincing to follow the colonel's excessive, murderous orders with gleeful fistpumps), or entirely good (all the Na'Vi and all of the scientists). There's only one soldier who objects to or feels any conflict about unnecessarily destroying an entire planet. One. I personally don't think that's giving our real soldiers enough credit, and paints them as evil, not-so-intelligent, war-mongering psychos. I know that imperialism did and does happen, but in this case there was very little shown to create the herd mentality that would be required to blow up an entire planet. One little pep-talk from Colonel Face Scars and the entire army is ready to murder thousands of innocent women and children. Again, I don't buy it.

So. That's all I have to say about that movie. Now that I think about it, I guess I didn't like it that much after all. This movie probably was a great step forward for special effects, but if we can't match amazing visuals with equally awe-inspiring stories and great emotional impact, then I'm not interested in the way we're headed.

Hi and goodbye (for a few days)!

2009-12-27T20:56:00.007-05:00

Just stopping by for a quick hello! Things have been crazy around here lately... though Christmas was wonderfully relaxing. But the next day my parents and I were off to my Gram's house for our big family party, which was fun but exhausting, and tomorrow I'm off to Atlantic City with four of my best friends in the world! I can't wait. After hours upon days of writing poems (which causes me to think a little - or a lot - too much), and the usual holiday family dramas, a night of debauchery is something I am sorely in need of.

Then, shockingly enough, it'll be New Year's Eve already! That'll be followed by two lovely weeks of writing and thinking and relaxing... but until then, I probably won't be back around these parts. So happy holidays, everyone!

And so the break begins...

2009-12-21T16:00:00.005-05:00

Today is the first day that it's really sunk in: I'm on break. I'm home, and I'm on break. I spent most of the day relaxing, drinking coffee, writing, nursing my snow-shoveling aches and pains (wow am I out of shape), and taking Spike for a leisurely walk through the snow. All in all, quite a nice "first" day off. I spent several hours writing my second poem, so I'm realizing that I really do have quite a bit of work ahead of me... but I think it's a challenge to which I'm ready to rise. I think. I just need to keep myself focused and on schedule, which is, of course, the hardest part. Especially when all my friends are home, the holidays are around the corner, I have presents to wrap and presents to open. Not to mention my parents' big screen TV, gigantic movie collection, a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream and endless mugs of hot chocolate calling my name. Hmm. Now that I think about it, maybe this will be harder than I thought...

But still, I'm loving the idea of completely immersing myself in writing during this break. I have a huge list of poetry collections I plan to read over the next few weeks and 28 poems to get written, and I can't imagine anything more exciting (maybe I need to get out more?). I've never had the opportunity to so completely devote myself to something I love like this. I want to make the most of it, and I suppose everyone else will just have to excuse my hermit-like ways for a few weeks.

A Very Unexpected Sort of Weekend

2009-12-20T17:14:00.013-05:00

So. Guess what? We got a lot of snow yesterday. Did you know that? Did you also know that my holiday party was supposed to take place yesterday? Cause it was. But did it? Well... not exactly.

Let me preface this story by saying that Sarah came over on Friday night to help me make cupcakes for the party. Hoping to be prepared and to keep our friends well-fed, we made about 50 cupcakes. We mixed brightly-colored icing, decorated the cupcakes with pretty little designs...
By all standards, they were very lovely cupcakes. We felt that our friends would be satisfied. Unfortunately, then the snow happened.

Now, my friend Laura was smart enough to show up the night before the party - very wise. She made it to my house with no trouble at all, slept blissfully in the guest room, and was ready to party the next day! But sadly, no one else was. To my great dismay, Aubrey's bus got cancelled. Corey didn't want to drive up here through all the snow. And eventually the streets were so bad that not even my high school friends could brave them.

Except for two.

Sarah is clearly the most wonderful friend in the world, because she hiked a mile through blizzard conditions on foot to attend my non-party!
Dear Steve was also willing to suffer walking three miles of snow to get here!! Luckily, it didn't come to that, and he was able to get a ride, but still. He was willing to walk three miles! And Sarah and Steve even brought party attire! Truly they are two of the most amazing people ever (note: Steve is dressed as Andy Warhol in the photo below; what a trooper).
So... the four of us decided to make the best of what we had - which was 50 cupcakes, some chicken wings, and enough booze to last a month. It didn't suck.

We posed for some pictures first:

(We had pictures with Steve, too, I swear! But they didn't come out very well...)

After the picture-taking portion of the night was over, we promptly changed into more sleep-over suitable clothing and commenced part two of the night: the eating, movie-watching, drinking-board-game-playing part of the night. I won drinking-Life. Laura won drinking-Scrabble. We ate many cupcakes in between. It was not the night I expected, but I can't say I was disappointed in the least, aside from the people I wished could have been there.

The next morning we awoke to quite a bit of snow, which we had to shovel through so Laura could go home eventually:
Spike also helped:
By the time everyone had left, there were seven cupcakes in the kitchen. We started with fifty. Think about that.

Apropos of nothing...

2009-12-17T00:30:00.008-05:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about exes. Not to go all Carrie Bradshaw on you (I mean, really), but… is it a good thing to keep them in your life? Ever? Because I’m skeptical.

I won’t lie: for the most part, I’m not one of those people who become good friends with a guy before I start dating him – though, let it be said that I’ve been dating the same guy for the last three years, so the majority of my experience is based on pithy high school romances. But back then, there was usually a crush, followed by some flirting, and then either the guy would ask me out – or – he’d take too long and I’d ask him out. Then we would date and, eventually, we’d break up. Sometimes tearfully, other times with almost no emotion to speak of. But without fail, one sentence was always uttered at the end of a breakup: “Let’s stay friends.”
I always assumed that was a good thing. You lose a boyfriend, but you gain a real friend. Several years and several boyfriends later, I’m wondering if that was the best approach to take. I mean, let’s be honest – I barely knew most of these guys before I started dating them, and I doubt I knew them all that much better after we’d broken up. So… is it possible that the only thing we really have in common is the shared history of the awkwardness that was our overdramatic high school relationships? And if so, is that any basis for a real friendship?

And over the years these “friendships” have caused all sorts of aggravation. First, there’s the pushing of the boundaries: are you really “just friends”? Or does this new relationship include benefits? So you have to muddle through that murky territory for a while, figuring out where each of you stands on the issue of post-breakup making out (or does that just happen to me?). If you make it through that and are still “friends,” you have re-learn how to hang out with each other platonically, and if by some miracle you make it through that and end up somewhere in the comfortable friend zone, well, you find yourself going out for coffee. A lot. Because, since you have no actual hobbies or interests in common, all you really have is Starbuck’s.

Then of course there’s the ex you didn’t actually want to ever see again, but he calls every few months and you feel obligated to go out with him for – you guessed it – coffee. Because after all, you did say you wanted to be friends, and apparently being friends means enduring monthly monologues detailing every one of his drunken escapades. Then of course, there’s also the ex that considers it open season whenever you break up with someone else. Or even when you don’t.

So I guess what I’m saying is… I’m currently in the position of being an outside observer of an awful breakup that won’t end, and it's gotten me thinking. Maybe when you break up with someone, the two of you should immediately be sequestered to different time zones for, oh, the next five years or so. After those five years, you get to have one lunch together and see if you have anything truly worth talking about with each other (small talk and “What have you been up to?” don’t count). Maybe that would be a good litmus test for friendship potential.

Thoughts, anyone?

DONE.

2009-12-16T14:31:00.005-05:00

Yes, it's true - I am done! I handed in my last take-home final fifteen minutes ago, and now I have absolutely nothing left to do. I feel like I've been slogging through the past three weeks, constantly working on papers and poems and assignments, writing every night until my eyes might possibly pop out, and now I'm done! Except for, of course, those thirty poems I have to write, but on the upside: I've already written one and started another, so that gives me Christmas and New Year's Eve off from writing :P In fact, I think I may keep a count on this blog of how many poems I have to write and how many days I have left... to keep myself in line. You can yell at me if the numbers start getting too disproportionate.

Another fun thing I get to do now is obsessively check WebAdvisor to see if my profs have posted grades yet! Last semester I did this at least five times a day for a week. Profs, please post grades quickly. My sanity begs you.

But anyway... I refuse to think about anything now except relaxing, having fun with my friends for a couple of days, and looking forward to going home and all the fun I'm going to have when I get there! I have a big holiday party to look forward to, Christmas at my gram's house, and a trip to Atlantic City, for starters. I have a party to plan, decorations to decide on, and lots and lots of cupcakes and mixed drinks to make. Yay! I'm not going home until Friday... but even so, I'm going to clean my room and start packing way too early just because I can.

Show me the way to go home...

2009-12-14T19:35:00.006-05:00

I'm sorry this blog has so very downbeat lately... and this entry isn't going to change things. I'm sick. Which is such a bummer! I'm almost done finals, I have a week to essentially relax and do nothing... and I'm sick. Blah. For the record, I'm not horribly ill or anything, just a sore throat, the sniffles, and lots of being tired, which I attribute to my somewhat-insomnia that has yet to go away, despite being done almost everything. Maybe I have residual stress from the past couple of weeks and that's keeping me up, I don't know, but it's a pain. And now I'm sick.

Last night I couldn't fall asleep yet again, and was feeling rather awful, so I took two Nyquil which, let's face it, could put out even an elephant for a few hours. So I did get a good night's sleep... thirteen hours worth, in fact. I didn't wake up until 2PM the next day, and then I spent the next two hours laying in bed watching TV. Lame. So, so lame. But I'm hoping that's just something I really needed and by tomorrow I'll be back on a good schedule and back to normal and hopefully not sick at all. That is my hope. I'm also finding that reading before bed, instead of watching TV or being on the computer, seems to help me get to sleep faster, so maybe tonight is a good night to finish the book I've been reading. In any case, I flatly refuse to be sick come Saturday, when three of my friends from college will be visiting and all my friends from high school will be coming over for the holiday party. I refuse!!

So, I can't wait to go home - because just being there will make me feel better. Not that I don't love my friends here and I love hanging out with them, but... I want to go home and watch movies with my parents and my dog now. I know I'm totally boring and an immutable homebody, but I can't help it. I wanna go home!

My Sunday Gift to You

2009-12-13T01:00:00.007-05:00

I have no idea why, but I got it in my head to go looking for clips of "Desperate Lives," an old made-for-TV movie about the dire consequences of drug use - hence the desperateness. Helen Hunt going crazy on PCP and jumping out a window... need I say more? It's pretty much the best thing ever. So, I give you this marvelously bad clip. You'll thank me later for so drastically improving your Sunday.

My favorite part? "I'm glad we're ALL SANE!"

Taking a Breath

2009-12-12T15:30:00.010-05:00

I turned in my poetry portfolio yesterday (at which point my professor looked at me and asked if I was sick, or just horribly exhausted... I guess it shows!), which is like... this amazing weight lifted off me. All week I've been thinking about that portfolio, constantly thinking of things that had to be done, revisions I needed to make, then new revisions I wanted to make... and then there was the 8-page cover letter that needed to be written, looming over my head... but now it's all done! And my professor is apparently an incredibly speedy grader, because my grades are already posted: A for the cover letter, A- for the overall revision. Yay! It's such a relief to have the responsibility of that project off of my chest. It was probably one of the most challenging projects of my time at this college (in great part because it meant so much to me), and I won't lie, I am glad it's over.

Anyway, now I have just one take-home final to get done by Wednesday and then I'm done for real. For real for real. But even so, I have so much time to get just that one little-ish thing done (we're expected to spend no more than three hours on the take-home), so I feel great. Finally, for the first time in weeks, I have a moment (or really, a week's worth of moments) to breathe. And man do I need that. This morning I slept in, had a little phone chat with my mom and my gram, lounged around my room watching a movie for a while, started rereading one of my favorite books, and drank oodles of my favorite coffee. It was lovely. Sometimes I really need time to myself, doing nothing in particular, to get back to normal, and I feel so much better now.

Of course, I can't forget that I have 30 poems to write over winter break (which, if you do the math, means at least one poem per day...), but for now I'm just taking a moment to recharge, and it feels oh so nice.

A nice surprise!

2009-12-11T18:03:00.004-05:00

So I just found out that Jill over at Life After College gave me the Happy 101 award! Thank you so much, Jill! I love Jill's blog because she's a 20-something who graduated from college just a few years ago, and she's always writing about her experiences in that oh-so-frightening "real world," and giving advice on how to live with it. So go check it out!

Here are the rules:
List ten things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, and tag ten bloggers that brighten your day. For those ten bloggers who get the award, please then link back to my blog!

Ten things that make me happy:

1. Really good, fresh coffee in the morning.

2. Cuddling, playing, and walking with my dog, Spike.

3. Spending an entire night watching movies with friends or family.

4. A truly delectable meal.

5. Writing something I really like.

6. Hanging out with my boyfriend, who always make me laugh.

7. Seeing old friends.

8. Coming home after being away for a long time.

9. Reading a book that I can't put down.

10. Staying in my pajamas all day and not leaving the house.

Now, ten of my favorite blogs. Enjoy!:

Novelista Barista
The Joy of Enjoying
Kyla Roma
Neal and Rochelle's Overseas Experience
An Extended Vacation
Time Yet For a Hundred Indecisions
Experimental Culinary Pursuits
Rapt
No Named Heidi
The Life That Broke

Thanks again, Jill! And happy Friday, everyone :)

Countdown til break...

2009-12-10T19:53:00.006-05:00

I have just one more paper and one more exam until I am done. Doooooone. Unfortunately, I've had so many cups of coffee just to get through my last day of classes (finals tend to give me temporary bouts of stress insomnia) that I feel like I'm about to pass out... and my last paper is due tomorrow afternoon. Which means I have to finish it tonight. Which means... no collapsing under the covers and not getting up for at least 24 hours, which is what I really, really want to be doing right now. Darn it.

I think the main problem is that I'm already mentally into next semester. I had my first meeting about the Senior Writing Seminar today to discuss my proposal with my professor, and that went great. I'm so excited to get started on my manuscript! But, because I'm so excited about that project, I feel like I should be done everything from this semester already - which I am most certainly not. I still have that pesky paper and that last final to slog through before I can start doing anything else. And so.....

I guess, sadly, the only answer is to go get started.

So I'm off to do that.

Good luck to all my friends who are going through their last weeks of classes and finals, too!

I'm a lover, not a writer...

2009-12-07T13:13:00.003-05:00

Just bought this sweet T-shirt from Idiots'Books, a local small press that writes and illustrates the coolest books. So excited. Couldn't help myself. Had to share.

I strongly suggest checking them out - awesome books and lots of other great stuff.

A Song for the Frat Boys (And Their Ladies) Out There

2009-12-06T14:08:00.009-05:00

So last night there was a very, very loud party going on in the suite below mine. Very loud. Like, louder than the usual parties that occur weekly down there. Which was fine... you know, I can handle the floor shaking, the bass pounding, and the jocks screaming... at least until 1AM or so. However, last night they took it up a notch. Every few minutes the guys down there would start screaming and yelling for no apparent reason. Just screaming. Who knows why. But okay, I took that in stride, too. I wasn't really doing anything important (you know, other than trying to sleep). But then I heard a huge bang at my suite's front door.

Someone threw a pumpkin at our door.

Yes, a pumpkin. (Which begs the question: who still has a pumpkin in December?)

Chunks of slimy, stringy pumpkin were everywhere. A path of pumpkin seeds trailed down the steps. It was lovely.

And so, to all you drunken frat boys and girls, I wrote a song. It's to the tune of "(You Drive Me) Crazy" by Britney Spears (if you don't know it, listen to it by clicking the playlist at the bottom of this post). Enjoy. (Disclaimer: I don't actually know who lives below me, or who was at that party last night. They very well may not be actual frat boys, but "drunken idiots I'd like to punch" had too many syllables so I just went with the stereotype.)

(Frat Boys Drive Me) Crazy

Frat boys, I’m so mad at you
You’re so damn drunk now, what can I do?
Frat boys, you spin me around, oh
My floor is shakin’, your bass is so loud
Every time you throw parties
My nerves are jumpin’, it’s easy to see
Hating you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before!

You drive me crazy
I just can’t sleep
I’m so ticked off, I want to weep
Crazy, and it feels not right
That listening to you frat boys keeps me up all night

Tell me, when will you pass out?
You’re playin’ beer pong, but why must you shout?
Tell me this will end by two, oh
But still I’m wastin’
My sleep time on you
Hating you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before!

You drive me crazy
I just can’t sleep
I’m so ticked off, I want to weep
Crazy, and it feels not right
That listening to you frat boys keeps me up all night

Tell me, why did you have to?
Why throw a pumpkin, we don’t even know you
Tell me you’ll clean up this mess, oh
That you won’t add on
To finals week stress
But I know you won’t help out
You’ll be too hungover without a doubt!

You drive me crazy
I just can’t sleep
I’m so ticked off, I want to weep
Crazy, and it feels not right
That listening to you frat boys keeps me up all night

Crazy, I just can’t sleep
I’m so ticked off, I want to weep
Crazy, and it feels not right
That this happens every night

You drive me crazy
I just can’t sleep
I’m so ticked off, I want to weep
Crazy, and it feels not right
That listening to you frat boys keeps me up all night
Man you drunken frat boys must not be too bright!

Is that... snow?

2009-12-05T15:09:00.003-05:00

Do any of you remember how two days ago it was 65 degrees? Well I'm looking out my window right now and it is snowing. Dude. Is it officially winter, or will spring be back in a few days (I personally hope it's the former!)?

Hope everyone is bundled up or somewhere warm and cozy! Happy weekend!

Little update plus some babies...

2009-12-04T13:53:00.002-05:00

So Hell Week #1 is over! (Small clap of approval.) Now, despite it only being Friday, it’s time to prepare for Hell Week #2. Surprisingly, finals week itself should be fairly painless. I only have one final, and it’s a take-home, which is absolutely marvelous, and by the week after next I’ll be done my final paper for Living Writers class, done my portfolio for poetry workshop, and completely done with 18th Century Lit. However, in order to get to that point, I need to actually write that final paper and prepare that portfolio (not to mention write the eight page cover letter…). So. That’s going to make for a fun weekend.

Even so, I have some fun things going on, too. I’m going to see Monologues From the Edge tonight with Corey and Laura, which I think should be really good. I’m excited to see so many of my classmates performing monologues (there are fifteen I think); I think it’ll be interesting (in a good way, not in a sarcastic, “oooh, isn’t that interesting?” way). And… I’m probably going to the movies… and, well, that seems to be all the fun stuff. But whatever. At least I’ll get to see my boyfriend for more than a half hour at a time (it’s been a terribly busy week for both of us… really for everyone, I think). I wish I had more profound and interesting things to talk about, but that's really my life right now. Lots of papers. Lots of stress. Trying to keep the complaining to a minimum!

So on a completely unrelated note, something cheerful – I really, really want to see this movie. And I’m not even that into babies (aside from my beauuutiful niece, of course!).

Some Top Christmas Picks

2009-12-03T13:43:00.016-05:00

You all know about my love for Etsy... so here are some of my favorite things going on right now!
Upcycled train case from Get Ready Set Go! This shop has tons of vintage, upcycled travel cases and bags, customized by hand.These necklaces from Christina Guenther. Obviously the names are customizable. Gorgeous and romantic.
Pink poppies scarf from Red Prairie Press. I'm obviously into poppies lately.
Print from Sophie Blackall. I found this shop through one of my favorite blogs, Missed Connections. The illustrator makes these prints based on the "missed connections" section, and they are so cute! Every one is a pretty, quirky gem in its own way.
Freshly Ground Heaven print from Michelle Nancarrow Illustration. There are lots of other beautiful prints of her watercolors in her shop, too (but of course I'm all about the coffee-related ones, haha).
Linen fawn and lace pouch/wallet from Track and Field. Adorable pouches/wallets, as well as really cute laptop bags.

So there ya go. Don't you just love Etsy's limitless possibilities?

I want these Christmas cards!

2009-12-02T09:40:00.002-05:00

From Studio Flower Power. So gorgeous... except I'd never have the heart to give any of them away!

First hurdle cleared. Now....

2009-12-01T14:21:00.007-05:00

So I'm done my last paper for my 18th Century Lit class! Yaay! Just one more (painfully long) paper to go!

However, the biggest obstacle standing between me and blissful, grade-free, worry-free freedom comes tomorrow. I have to lead the discussion in my poetry workshop. Bleh. As you may or may not know, I am not a big talker. At least, I'm not one of those people who's constantly jumping to get a word in about whatever book or poem is being discussed in a class. I'm shy. And I'm soft spoken, so even when I do try to say something, it often gets overlooked or drowned out, especially in a writing workshop where most people are clambering to give their opinions, and I simply don't have it in me to fight to be heard. It's just not who I am.
I can't say this is honestly something I've come to peace with about myself; it's a constant struggle to participate in classes, and I'm not proud of it. It's annoying, especially because I am so full of opinions and ideas in most of my classes. I don't know why it's such a big deal - I'm fine talking outside of a class setting (seriously, I'm not a mime - okay, I can still be really shy... but given the perfect set of circumstances, I really can be a superb conversationalist!), and in high school it was never a problem. I guess maybe it's just being in a room full of my peers, many of whom I don't know that well, and having to state my opinion for everyone. I don't know. Maybe the stakes seem higher now. In any case, tomorrow I'm expected to lead a class full of poetry students through a discussion of Mission Work by Aaron Baker. So.

In my head, I realize that it's really not a big deal. At all. I know I'll be totally over-prepared, and I'll know what I'm talking about, and it'll probably be fine. It's just annoying that out of all the work I have to get done, something this easy is going to be the hardest thing for me. I wish this kind of thing wasn't so completely butterfly-inducing and blush-worthy to me. It would make life much simpler.

Time to amp it up....

2009-11-30T10:23:00.000-05:00

Good morning, good morning! So I hope your Thanksgiving was as lovely as mine. I also hope that there is some slim chance that I'll be able to amp it up again for the last few weeks of the semester (only two more weeks of class!!) and get down to the crazy amount of work I need to get done! But before that...

Thanksgiving break. As always, it was marvelous. Now that I've done the college thing for a few years, I can go on record saying that there is nothing nicer than coming home for the holidays. It's just such a safe, warm, cozy place to be! My parents are excited to see me, all my old friends are home, I get to watch tons of movies and read to my heart's content... it's the best. And this year was no different: lots of movie watching, old friends-seeing, and plenty of rereading favorite old books. On Wednesday we went to my Gram's house for Thanksgiving, had a fantastic, delicious dinner and a wonderful time with many of my relatives, and came back home on Friday. Then that night I went out to dinner with my four closest high school friends (Sarah, Blythe, Claire, and Natalya) for Natalya's 22nd birthday, and out to the bar, which was fun but kind of strange as it turned out my high school was having a reunion at the bar we went to that night. It was for the class two years ahead of me, which was of course filled with people I sort of knew... but not really... so it was kind of awkward all around. There's a reason I never plan to attend a high school reunion: everyone I want to see, I see, and everyone I don't want to see... would be at that reunion.

On Saturday my mom and I went shopping for coffee (yes, we devote an entire trip to coffee shopping in my house - I bought a pound of dark French roast from Saxbys and a pound of Dark Sumatra roast from Trader Joe's - yum!) and for early Christmas presents at Urban Outfitters. Yes, I'm one of those people. The kind that shops at UO. I refuse to be ashamed, though, because I got the cutest dress on earth there, as well as some sweet shirts and a new bag for my laptop - on sale. So there.

Anyway, the gist of all this is that it was a great, albeit brief, vacation. And I'm honestly pretty sad to be back at school. It's hard to be in school mode, let alone finals mode, after such a blissful break, with only two weeks left to go! But nonetheless, I have three papers, a poetry portfolio, and several meetings to get through before those weeks are through. It's also time to let my advisors know that I'm dropping my Kerouac thesis in favor of a completely new project... and I can't wait to explain that one, several times. Bleh.

But! After all that is done, then comes my Christmas party, Christmas itself, and a newly-arranged trip to Atlantic City with all my girlfriends! So at least I have so many things to look forward to.

Wonderful Weird Weekend

2009-11-24T14:17:00.011-05:00

This weekend was rather strange, and quite lovely... but in the essence of time, a list:

1. I came home for Thanksgiving break. - A few days early, too, in response to my mental breakdown over my recent Big Decision (see #2). It's nice to be home. Watching movies. Eating BLTs and chocolate and hanging out with my parents a lot.

2. I no longer have a senior thesis. - Well, not a "real" one, anyway, though the amount of work and time I'll be putting into my new project is at least as much as the old one. It's a long story, but basically I'm dropping my research thesis in order to take a senior writing seminar, wherein I will be writing a book of poetry - which is basically my dream, but originally I was told it wasn't a possibility. Apparently, though, it is; I just have to take comprehensive exams to make up for not having a "real" thesis. It was a major decision because I already have a good chunk of work done for my original thesis, and I'm sad to let it go... but this poetry collection is what I really, really want to do, so I'm extremely excited about that. Still, it was a somewhat stressful decision, not least because I now have to write a 30-50 page poetry manuscript by January, since you need a complete manuscript at the very beginning of the semester! My book proposal was due this morning, so now that that's done, I suppose it's time to get down to the actual writing...

3. A six foot ten basketball player from Nigeria took up residence in my house. - My dad handles the VISAs for international students at Rider University, and due to some problems getting this particular student into Mexico for a game, he ended up staying at our house for a little while. We went out for sushi and had a good time talking about business, movies, and Denzel Washington. He was a very nice guy - unlike some other guests we've had in the house in the past. A man with no teeth comes to mind, as does an Irishman who wouldn't get out of my bathtub for hours, though I couldn't tell you who those people were or why they were in my house. Those odd memories are just little blurs and blips in my past, always a small part of my life, just part of my dad's job. I think it's kind of cool now, though, now that I'm older and can appreciate meeting new people from all over the world. Now that I'm not horrendously shy and afraid to speak to a 6'10" basketball player from Nigeria.

4. Had drinks with Sarah at Kildare's. - And also her friend, Dave, who is a lovely boy. I actually met him last April when I went to Penn State for my 21st birthday and he came out with us, so it was a super little reunion. Sadly, I realized that I'm not as fond of Guinness as I used to be... though I did get a coupon for a free Guinness, so I'll definitely be using that in the near future.

5. Had an all-day shopping excursion with Sarah. - I actually got almost all of my Christmas shopping done in one day! Yay! We power-shopped through the mall for about five hours, our wallets full of coupons, and came out on the other side with tons of presents (and a few things for ourselves...). Lotsa fun.

So it was a busy few days, mentally and physically. But now I can't wait to go my gram's house for Thanksgiving, see my whole huge family... and eat. A lot. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!

Insomnia

2009-11-22T01:38:00.007-05:00

I'm feeling riled up and confused and a little disoriented, somehow. This semester has had so many ups and downs, mostly inside of my mind, and something really weird just happened, and I can't fall asleep. I'm home, which is always nice. Well, more than nice. Comforting. And calming. But still.
My poetry class is just... I don't know, throwing me for a loop, I guess. I'm not sure if that's the right cliche, but it sounds right at least. For the first time, I feel like I have a professor I can trust - trust to critique my poetry, to be completely honest, and to understand what I'm going through with writing (what all students go through, really). But at the same time, it's such a constant battle to not... let myself get too inside my head (I realize I was just whining about this a few days ago, I'm sorry). But it's hard not to psyche myself out by over-analyzing things and worrying what my professor will think. To remember that one opinion (be it glowingly good or frankly bad), isn't the only opinion. And that revision is an ongoing (never-ending?) process, so things can always be fixed... or could/should be made better.

I think that being a writer, like so many other things, is difficult in part because you just know there are so many people out there who are just as talented as you (think you) are, or who are even more so. In fact, there are probably a ton of people out there in the world who are more talented that you. A ton! And yet you have to keep writing, because it's the only thing you can possibly do. Somehow, you have to believe that there's something special about your writing, something that makes it unique and meaningful and worth pursuing (aside from the fact that it just keeps spilling out of you). But so many nights, it's hard to remember what it is that's good about the words you write down. I don't have much comfort to offer on this count, but I guess all you can do is keep writing and hope for... something. Right?

And if you're wondering, here's the weird thing: I've had a poem tacked on my bedroom wall at home for several years, printed out on a sheet of paper, folded and refolded and covered in pinprick holes from being hung up. It's one of my all-time favorite poems, but the name meant little to me because I'd never heard of the poet before. I wanted to make a copy of it for a class, so today I took the poem down from my wall - and it turns out that the author is my current poetry professor.

Tuesday Pick-Me-Ups

2009-11-17T13:38:00.006-05:00

So this week has already been pretty rough, and it's only Tuesday. However, some great things have happened today! First of all, a book I ordered about three weeks ago finally came in the mail (Blood Roses by Francesca Lia Block), and I can't wait to sit down after my last class today and read it! I also had to take two quizzes today (which doesn't sound like a big deal, but my 18th Century Lit grade is actually rather hinging on these quizzes), and I got 100% on both! I also made a Rather Big Decision, finally, for sure, which is good. I always feel better when I have a secure plan of action.

But anyway, in case you're going through a bit of an end-of-semester funk, here are a few pick-me-ups that I keep under my belt for bad days:

1. A strategic feel-good music mix. This varies for everyone, but my current list includes the following: "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects, "I Got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas, "So What" by Pink, "The Con" by Tegan and Sara, "In a Big Country" by moe., and "The Fixer" by Pearl Jam. All very encouraging songs, I promise!

2. Mochaccinos. When a regular coffee won't cut it, I get a cappuccino with two shots of chocolate for good measure.

3. Doing one productive thing. It may not seem like much when you have a million things to get done, but forcing myself to prioritize and get just one important thing done each day can really help. Otherwise I have a tendency to get overwhelmed and not do anything at all.

4. Reading or watching for pleasure. When I'm inundated with work and assignments, it's vital to my well-being to read a good book (like my new one!) or watch some crap TV, just to get my mind off of everything for a little bit. Real Housewives of New Jersey, anyone?

5. Writing. It's a (kind of) sad fact that some of my best writing comes from the most miserable times in my life. Still, it goes both ways: writing about something bad in my life helps me figure things out and move on, which is good in the long run. Even if it's completely self indulgent and whiney, it helps to get it out - and can often be revised into something much better.

6. More Specifically, Writing Letters. I find that writing letters is extremely cathartic, and just plain fun! When I need a little break or am a bit down, writing a letter to a friend, decorating it, and sending it off feels really good for some reason. Plus, you're making someone else's day better, too!

Working under pressure: I'm not good at it.

2009-11-16T14:38:00.007-05:00

Do you remember senior year of high school? Specifically, first semester senior year, when you were scrambling to finish college applications and keep up with your work and generally avoid spontaneous self-combustion? Because every little thing seemed like the most important decision you would ever make in your life, ever? Well I do. Because I think I’m reliving my senior year of high school all over again.

I’m dealing with a few Very Big Decisions right now, scrambling to keep up with my regular class work, and generally feeling kind of like nothing I do is good enough to prepare me for The Future. And it’s not fun.

Frankly, though, I think I have a problem that is bigger than my constant struggle to keep up, or my fear of not preparing enough for what I want to do in the future, and it is this: every time a professor praises my writing extensively, I freeze up. I start to overthink every little thing that I write for that professor, worrying that it’s not going to meet his or her expectations, or that it won’t be as good as that first thing (the piece of writing which, of course, I didn’t worry over at all). And then everything feels like a failure. It’s really a ridiculous and vicious cycle, and one that I wish with all my heart I could break… but I don’t know how. I honestly don’t know whether or not it affects my writing, but it certainly does drive me crazy.

And, since I have no solution, that’s all I can think to say about that right now.

Lovely sunny day and new friends....

2009-11-15T18:32:00.013-05:00

Today was beautiful - sunny, warm, breezy. Which was weird, considering it's November. But I tried to embrace it, despite my global warming dread. Laura, Aubrey, and I went for a walk around town and down to the waterfront, where we did some reading - and let me tell you, reading next to a body of water is somehow so much more fun than reading in a dorm room! Even when it's slightly boring reading for a class. Then we wandered a bit more, stopping in at the health food store (since Sam's was already closed - damn you, tiny town, with your stores that close so ridiculously early!) for some tasty juice and more aimless, sunny wandering.

We made several new friends. First, we came upon this:It was sitting in front of a yarn shop and was labeled "Fiber Chick." However, I would rather call this giant, fiber optic outdoor chicken "Gertie." Later, as we sat next on a bench in the park, a man stumbled over to us and chatted for a while. Tt was difficult to understand what he was talking about... but he was staring very intently at us so we assumed it must be important. Either that or he had a drug problem. One of the two. In any case, he seemed harmless enough (though he was unfamiliar with the college we attend... which is pretty much the focal point of the entire town, so I think it's safe to say he was a little out to lunch), and he eventually shook Laura's hand and ambled off in the other direction, leaving us with the mystery of his visit. Oh, the endless charms of small-town life. And the oddities. (Walking around Chestertown is somewhat like being in an episode of Gilmore Girls, but with an edge because here there are real criminals mixed in with the people who are just strange.) And finally, we met some unbearably adorable puppies on the walk home. I almost scooped one up and ran for it.

So yes, it was a nice day. I clearly don't take advantage of this town often enough.

Not-so-lazy Saturday

2009-11-14T12:05:00.004-05:00

This morning had a lovely start! My friend and previous suitemate, Aubrey, is visiting Laura and me from New York City (where she is, quite impressively, attending NYU as a grad student), so we began the day with a late morning brunch (omelets, pancakes, and coffee... mmm). Sadly, as Aubrey and Laura head out to Chestertown's book festival, I am sitting here in my room about to complete insane amounts of work. I have a paper to write, a thesis to work on, and a book cover to design - yes, a book cover to design. Which is strange, but exciting. I've been editing a book that my dad wrote for the past few months, and now that it's getting published the publisher actually wants me to design a mockup cover. So that's pretty cool (not least because I could really use some of my own money to buy Christmas presents....). I love art and graphic design, but I rarely have time to do anything with what I've learned over the past several years. (Does anyone remember the coloring book project that has so egregiously fallen to the wayside lately? Maybe I'll get to work on that a little this weekend, too?) . So yay! This should be a fun and challenging project, and something a little different from the bazillion English papers and assignments I've written this semester. But excuse me now while I get down to the working part of this day...

New layout, yo

2009-11-13T23:03:00.006-05:00

After about eight hours (ridiculous, I know, but I am not terribly adept at web design) of tinkering, changing my mind, and remaking everything, I think I'm finally done with the new layout! What do you think? The blog feels much more... mine now.

Taije Silverman and Poetry

2009-11-13T00:36:00.005-05:00

One of the best things about my college is that we have so many amazing writers visiting all the time. In my time here, we’ve had countless writers come to give readings and talks, to visit classes, and even to sit around the Literary House for a few hours just to chat. Last year we had Poet Laureate Ted Kooser give a reading of his work and do a little Q&A, which was one of my favorite events… ever, pretty much (you can read about it here if you’re interested). And now this year I’m taking a fantastic poetry workshop, and we have a few poets visiting.

Yesterday Taije Silverman, author of Houses Are Fields, came to the workshop to answer all of our questions about her book, poetry, getting published (or not, more often...), and writing in general. It was fantastic! (I know that’s the second time I’ve used that adjective, but I can’t think of another one more fitting. It was just… fantastic!) Taije was so interesting and eloquent, and she spoke about poetry so intelligently and honestly. I enjoyed listening to her so much because so many of the things she said rang true to me. When asked why she wrote poetry and not some other form of literature she replied that it was because she naturally thought in lines and phrases – which is exactly what I do, too. I can’t help it; so often I find myself experiencing something noteworthy, or just going about my day, and suddenly a phrase or string of words just pops into my head to describe what I’m feeling or doing at that moment. It’s just the way I think, and later, how I articulate myself. It was weird, and neat, to hear such a wonderful writer say something like that, because I identified with it. It was a great experience.

Anyway, I highly recommend Taije’s book if you’re at all into poetry; it was definitely one of my favorites from the semester. Truly beautiful writing, and something to aspire to.

Coffee-Mug-Love

2009-11-10T09:43:00.000-05:00

I'm obsessed with coffee mugs. I love my coffee so much; in the morning, in the afternoon, after dinner... and I'm constantly in the mood for a different kind of cup! I blame this obsession on my mom, who has about a million coffee mugs and teacups - the big, heavy, tall mugs for a healthy dose of morning coffee; the simpler, smaller cups for the after dinner coffee; the many delicate tea cups and saucers in all shapes and sizes. As a result, I have a smaller, but still impressive, collection of my own mugs. In fact, my lovely boyfriend just bought me a new one today! (I also bought some new, freshly ground coffee and am currently enjoying it in my new mug!) And yet somehow, I've ended up back on Etsy, lusting over more mugs... so I figured I might as well share these sweet finds with all of you in the hopes that one of you will buy these gorgeous things before I do - since I can't possibly justify buying them myself (but still might be tempted!).

Behold, the simple, elegant, hand-thrown beauty of Kim Westad's ceramics:
I love this pretty, cheerful flower mug (above), and the understated beauty of this blue "pebble mug":Then I found some really cool, modern, urban-style mugs on Urban Soule. The skull mug and saucer and the powerline mugs are my favorites:Just wanted to share the Etsy love! I can't be the only coffee mug aficionado, right?

Movie Review!: Paranormal Activity

2009-11-09T15:16:00.008-05:00

Whenever a movie is sold as “the scariest movie ever” – which is how many of my friends described this one to me – you’re bound to be a little disappointed. Paranormal Activity is scary, and though it didn’t meet expectations as one of the scariest movies of all time, it still holds its own as far as fun horror movies go.

The story revolves around a couple, Katie (Katie Featherstone) and Micah (Micah Sloat), who have just moved into a new house together. As they begin to notice strange happenings and unexplained noises around the house – misplaced keys and the sound of whispering during the night – Micah decides to videotape everything as it happens. After setting up a video camera at the foot of the bed, the couple observes the strange phenomena that occur night after night, allowing a sense of dread to build throughout.

The plot is simple enough, but the story is significantly enhanced by the documentary style of the movie. A door slamming on its own or a bang from the kitchen would hardly be as terrifying in the context of another, more fantastical horror movie, but in Paranormal Activity the insistent normalcy of the characters and their life together makes the smallest things, like a rustling sheet, cause for alarm. Katie and Micah are realistic and relatable, and it really does feel as if you are watching a friend’s home videos.

However, the plot is so simple that it drags at times. During the first half hour very little happens. A bang here or there, a creaky door moves half an inch or so without provocation… and that’s about it. As the movie continues, the feeling of anticipation intensifies and the scares come about more readily, but I have to admit that much of my anxiety was based on the fact that I was told I should be scared out of my mind, and not because I was legitimately frightened.

There are also a few plot points and pieces of dialogue that don’t seem to fit. For example, Micah refuses to contact a recommended “demonologist” for help when things start to get worse, reasoning, “This is my house, and you’re my girlfriend, and I’m going to take care of it!” This macho declaration comes out of nowhere and doesn’t seem to fit the character in the least; instead, it comes off as a hackneyed plot device, which amounts to nothing about fifteen minutes later when Katie discovers that said “demonologist” happens to be out of the country for the next few days. The movie also throws in some confused information found online about a woman who had similar experiences, but that too does little to serve the plot or clarify what’s going on with this couple.

It’s also difficult to drum up much sympathy for Katie, a character who, though realistic, is awfully annoying (and strangely a dead ringer for Jessie from NYC Prep, a comparison which does her character few favors if you have any idea what I’m talking about). Prone to whining and screaming at her boyfriend, but never taking the slightest action to help herself – is there really only one demonologist in the whole wide world who can help her? – audiences might find themselves hard-pressed to truly care what happens to her.

Speaking as a hardened, desensitized horror buff, the ending is not terribly original or surprising. Frankly, I thought the payoff to all that suspense would be greater. But that’s not to say Paranormal Activity isn’t worth seeing – it just probably won’t hold up well to a second viewing. Still, it’s a fun thriller that provides some genuine scares and a few accidental – but hearty – laughs.

Wherein I eat my own words...

2009-11-07T14:28:00.009-05:00

First of all, apropos of absolutely nothing, I felt I had to share this picture of Jon Hamm getting coffee, because that is exactly how I look after my first, very strong cup of morning coffee (the good stuff from the Dominican Republic, by way of Germany). Yay for soul-warming coffee and bad TV on a Saturday morning!

But anyway. That's not what I sat down to talk about today. Today, I have a serious matter to discuss (not that I don't take my coffee seriously - have you seen all of my coffee-related accoutrements?), and that is the matter of Twitter. Yes, I'm back to that. You may remember me maligning that particular "social networking web site" more than once. And I still think that a lot of what I said holds true - that writing 140 characters about brushing your teeth does not hold much journalistic or artistic merit. However, you may remember my career counselor suggesting that I create a Twitter account in order to follow updates from various organizations and web sites that might lead to jobs. So I did. And then I just happened to discover that Diablo Cody, the screenwriter of Juno and Jennifer's Body (two films I can't help but admit I adore), has a Twitter account, and so I (innocently enough) began following her updates. You know, just in case she has a new movie in the works or something. And then I had to follow my boyfriend's updates, of course. And I only follow Barack Obama because I'm a damn good American and all. I think you can see where this is going...

The whole thing came to a head when I began following tweets (gah, I'm actually embarrassed to even say the word!) from one of my favorite bloggers, Kyla Roma, and I noticed that she often posted updates on what was new on her blog. And it occurred to me... that that was actually not a bad idea. Letting more people know what you're writing about, letting followers know what's coming up... it's not such a preposterous idea. Not to mention I actually do enjoy reading what other bloggers are up to now and then, as long as they keep it interesting. I already read about their lives and know I'm curious about what they have to say, so reading their tweets (buh, that word) just gives me another window into their thoughts and opinions, or alerts me to other interesting things on the web. So, in short, yes, I am now a reluctant Twitterer. Tweeter? ...Twit?

Embarrassed as I am, you will now find my tweets (dammit!) in the upper left-hand corner of this blog, or you can follow me if you so choose on Twitter. ("ClaireCastag." No, my full last name would not fit. No, I can't even have a normal, dignified Twitter username. Damn you again, Twitter!) I'll be posting blog updates and such, and it's likely that I won't be able to resist the occasional pointless thought or tidbit about my life from time to time. Please, internets, don't judge me too harshly.

So Happy Christmas...

2009-11-06T15:08:00.008-05:00

Okay. Now that Halloween is over, I realize that I should be looking forward to Thanksgiving. And don't get me wrong, I am, very much. I love going to my Gram's house upstate for thanksgiving and seeing my whole huge family, eating some ham and turkey (we do both, considering the thirty or so people we have to feed), going to Jim Thorpe for Christmas shopping...

But then I immediately think, "Christmas!" And all else is lost.

Yes, I am that girl. The girl who starts playing Christmas music on November 1st and keeps on going for two months solid. I'm the girl who watches every Christmas special on ABC Family and Lifetime. I'm your worst nightmare.

But, for your all-too-early holiday pleasure, a Christmas playlist!

I also love Christmas a ridiculous amount because every year my friends from home and I have a big, marvelous, crazy theme party. Last year it was plain old "Winter Wonderland," which I realize is lame, but after so many theme parties I was in the mood for a normal Christmas party. Still, it was very pretty with lots of silver balloons (that's what sticks in my mind the most, I don't know why). But the year before that it was "Bohemia" and everyone looked like cast members of Rent, with beautiful silk flowers in painted juice bottles all over the tables, handmade stars covering the walls, and lots and lots of color everywhere! We've also done the Twenties (I rented a flapper dress and headband for the occasion), old Hollywood (complete with fake candy cigarettes, because we're just that cool), Carnivale, and "the moon." Don't ask me how "the moon" is a theme - I came up with that one freshman year of high school, I think - but we had some amazing costumes that year.

It's a little bittersweet, because every year it seems there are fewer old friends in attendance (it only gets harder and harder to get everyone in the same place at the same time), but it's also nice to see new friends cropping up, and new boyfriends and girlfriends on the arms of my high school buddies. Anyway, this year the theme is "1960s counterculture" (thus, all the Andy Warhol surrounding this post). Think: Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick, pop art and glitter, The Velvet Underground and the Rolling Stones, mod and minidresses. I plan on making some kickass neon-glitter cupcakes and rainbow mixed drinks, wearing really tall boots and a pink dress, and having a wonderful time seeing old friends. And that is why I love Christmas.

Halloween...

2009-11-01T15:07:00.012-05:00

Is it just me or is every Halloween after the age of twelve kind of a huge letdown? It just seems like you can never recapture that intense feeling of mystery/excitement/jitters, you know? I'm not trying to be down on Halloween, but once you can't go trick or treating anymore, you have to resort to Halloween parties, which could be good, but which more often morph into "Sluttoween" parties where 90% of the girls are just trying to get a frat boy to notice them by wearing as little as possible... and before you know it it doesn't feel like Halloween at all anymore! Or am I the only one who feels this way?

Still, last night was pretty good as far as Halloweens go. My friends and I stopped by the Battle of the Bands and saw at least one good band, and we cheered for Laura in the costume contest (a poorly performed "Lady Gaga" won, unfortunately). Corey and I were going to hit some parties, but... we just weren't feeling it. Squeezing into a dorm room full of drunk, half naked people, most of whom I only know tangentially (and so being squashed up against some guy I've only spoken to once while he's sporting nothing but a gold loincloth can be... awkward), isn't really my idea of Halloween. Full disclosure: my friends and I organized some truly kick-ass theme parties back in high school, full of incredibly inventive decorations and costumes, so a dorm party naturally pales in comparison. I guess it's not fair of my to judge Halloween this way, but I can't help it! I've reached the conclusion that for many people, college ruins creativity! But hopefully that's temporary.

Thus, we ended up back in Corey's suite watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with Travis and Laura, eating subs and drinking a few beers. Which was actually way more fun than a lot of the parties I've been to in past years.

That is, until I drank enough to be labeled "tipsy" and demanded, repeatedly, that we watch Deliverance. I don't know what I was thinking. That movie is much scarier than I remembered.

Still, I dream of a time after college when costume parties are taken seriously and people actually try to be interesting and clever. Someday....

Two movie reviews: Where the Wild Things Are and Saw VI (an odd couple).

2009-10-27T18:45:00.005-04:00

Where the Wild Things Are is a sad, beautiful, and strange film. Having had a day to turn it over in my mind, it’s still difficult to say how I feel about it. But I think that’s a good thing, because despite my initial mixed feelings, the film kept me thinking about it for a long time after I’d left the theater.

The movie begins with Max (played by Max Records) an energetic, emotional boy who is having trouble coming to terms with his changing world. His sister is becoming an adult and bonding with friends she’d rather be around than her little brother, while Max’s dad is completely absent and his mom, while obviously a loving and caring mother, is dating a new man. Overwhelmed, Max acts out, eventually culminating in his running away and imagining the land where the Wild Things are. There, the Wild Things make Max their king, and the wild rumpus begins.

Max Records is pitch perfect as the wild, emotive little boy – he carries the whole film on his shoulders, particularly during the 80 or so minutes in which he is the only human onscreen. Which brings me to the Wild Things themselves, which I think are also as close to perfect as is humanly possible. Created with a combination of real puppets and CGI, the monsters are incredibly expressive and incredibly realistic. They also look exactly like Maurice Sendak’s original illustrations, so if you’re a fan of the book, you won’t be disappointed. And finally, the soundtrack, composed for the film by Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, is simply magical, and seamlessly enhances the story as it unfolds.

Max’s dialogue and demeanor are wholly, authentically childlike, which is surprisingly rare in a movie for or about children. Max is not annoyingly precocious or adorable – he is simply a child, which is wonderful to watch. However, the Wild Things are a little less straightforward, possibly to the detriment of the movie. They are large and intimidating at first, but that intimidation quickly dissolves into cutesy banter and voices that seem just a little too human and adult. In short, the Wild Things don’t seem quite wild enough, though there are a few scenes where wild abandon seems to take over, such as when they have a rowdy dirt clod fight, and those are some of the best scenes.

The Wild Things seem to be manifestations of Max, his family and the conflicts taking place within his family (echoes of Max’s mother, sister, and father are obvious in many of the Wild Things), and that is somewhat effective. However, the subtext of that the monsters’ dialogue is too complicated for young children to understand, and conversely, too simple for adults. There just isn’t much of a plot in Where the Wild Things Are, which makes sense when you consider it was based on a picture book containing maybe 20 short sentences. Despite all the gorgeous images and pretty music, the story definitely lags during some longwinded scenes with the monsters - they simply talk too much about too little. And they are rather depressing monsters, too.

However, though sad and a little drawn out, Where the Wild Things Are is an unmistakably striking and affecting film. It truly captures the magic of childhood and the pain of growing up, although it may be a bit melancholic about the whole thing. Either way, it’s worth a look, if only to let your inner child out for a few hours.

As for Saw VI: It was bloody, but not more so than the previous five movies, and it made slightly more sense than Saw IV and Saw V. Oh, and I'm pretty sure it was pro-Obama and pro healthcare reform. So there's that.

Fun Sarah Weekend!

2009-10-22T22:29:00.006-04:00

I am sick. It seems I may remain sick forever... but if anyone can make me happy this weekend it's Sarah! My dearest old friend is visiting and hopefully she can help me shake this awful cold, get in some retail therapy, and have a fun time! Here's hoping you all have a good weekend! (And here are some random cute pics of Spike to get you going...)

Back from New York

2009-10-18T14:15:00.015-04:00

So I am back from New York City! And sick. Very sick. It's become clear to me, from my many travels around the globe (particularly my four or five trips to Germany, during which I've become ill every time) that I am not a born traveler. I am more of a... sit at home and watch movies with Chinese takeout kind of girl. But we can't all be effortless globetrotters. In any case, it was totally worth the trouble, because I had the best time!

It poured rain and was absolutely freezing the first night, so we got some coffee (we actually had quite a bit of coffee over the course of the weekend) and then took shelter in a diner. Afterward, we thought it would be a nice idea to walk around Greenwich Village and see the sights... aside from the aforementioned driving rain and wind. So we walked around for about ten minutes (all the while staring at the ground and clutching our flimsy dollar store umbrellas), before we realized we should probably head home to Brooklyn.

Aubrey and Erin have an adorable little apartment in Brooklyn, so we spent our first night drinking tea and alternately missing and dissing the college that Alisha, Laura, and I currently attend and that Erin and Aubrey graduated from last year. It was a nice bonding time.

The next day was chock full! Laura wanted to see Rockefeller Center and Times, so after grabbing yet more coffee, we headed thataways. I didn't take any pictures of Rockefeller Center... because I'm not eight anymore. But I here we are in Times Square!
And here is more Times Square. Note the "Where the Wild Things Are" ad:Then we walked around Central Park, which was so much lovelier than I remembered. In fact, I took quite a few pictures there, despite my belief that life should be lived in the moment and not documented obsessively. It was just too pretty to leave to memory:
Laura was very excited, as you can see.
This was called "Literary Walk," and the beautiful trees warmed our little English major hearts.
So pretty.
We also did quite a bit of frolicking.
And a little posing.
We grabbed some tasty sushi, and then we went to The New York City Strand, the most fabulous, awe-inspiring book store on Earth, I'm pretty sure. It was fantastic. I may go back to New York just to shop there again. I bought some books and a T-shirt that was apparently worn by a character on Gossip Girl not too long ago... imagine my joy at that discovery. CW TV: turning my personal memories into lame trends for the past three years.

...Anyway, then we went to Crumbs Bake Shop and got these delicious things:
Literally the most glorious cupcakes I've ever experienced. 600 calories of awesome.

Next on the agenda was Club Groove NYC, a bar that claimed "live show every night!" Apparently the live was was watching some guy bob his head on a stage while operating his iPod... but he was cute, so I guess that counts.

Saturday was spent at the Museum of Sex. It was an eye opening experience to say the least. There was so much to explore... this is the only picture I had the presence of mind to take:
I think that sums up the experience pretty well.

New York, New York!

2009-10-13T23:33:00.003-04:00

I'm headed off to New York tomorrow! Well, technically I'm headed to my friend Alisha's house for the night, then New York on Thursday, but whatever. Semantics. I just wanted to say YAY! And I hope everyone else has a marvelous weekend!
I'll be back late Saturday night, hopefully with tons of pictures and marvelous stories to tell.

Fall Playlist

2009-10-12T19:42:00.002-04:00

Blythe just wrote a post about how much she loves fall, and I have to wholeheartedly agree! It's my absolute favorite season, and one of my favorite things to do is walk around campus listening to my iPod. Thus, I present you with my fall playlist (of the moment anyway). Enjoy!

(You'll probably notice that I just bought Tegan & Sara's new album The Con, and that I love it!)

Zombieland....

2009-10-11T16:33:00.003-04:00

So I saw Zombieland two weeks ago and wrote a review for the paper and completely neglected to post it here! (I also neglected to post my review of Surrogates, but it was so blah that I won't even bother - Netflix it in a few months if you care at all, that's really all there is to say.) Anywho, Zombieland.

First off, it was just awesome. I absolutely loved it - it was the perfect mix of laughs and scares (well, mostly laughs, but that's okay). It kept the whole audience laughing, and was obviously much in the spirit of the equally well-received Shaun of the Dead – but it definitely had its own unique take. The movie begins with a brilliant slow-mo montage of various zombie chases, complete with arcing blood spatters and flying objects, and features animated “rules” (kind of like the animations that pop up during football games) that appear throughout the movie. It was these distinctive little things that made the movie so much fun to watch. Oh, and the zombie killings were impressively gross.

(Get ready for me to switch tenses here... because I'm too lazy to completely change what I wrote for the paper. Sue me.)

The movie takes place in a fictional present-day America where the first zombie was a result of a tainted hamburger (duh). Columbus (all the characters are nicknamed after their hometowns) is one of the last surviving humans left. Played by an appropriately dorky Jesse Eisenberg (most recently seen playing essentially the same character, sans zombies, in Adventureland), Columbus has no friends, family, or social skills – and he admits to having been exactly the same way even before the zombie apocalypse. He’s still alive because of the strict set of aforementioned rules he follows (for example, Rule #4, “the double tap”: shoot all zombies twice to make sure they’re really, really dead), but he’s completely alone in the world. His goal in life, aside from surviving in Zombieland, is to brush a hot girl’s hair behind her ear. And then, preferably, lose his virginity to her.

Luckily for Columbus, he soon meets up with tough Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), surly and sexy bad-girl Wichita (Emma Stone), and her little sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Zombie-filled hijinks and a bit of romance ensue.

The gun-toting, hedge clipper-wielding Harrelson is hilarious and offsets Eisenberg’s dry wit perfectly, and Stone and Breslin do fine in their roles. Along with the actors, the movie’s fast pace and constant humor make difficult to find much to complain about. The only slight grievance I have is that the story lags a bit in the middle. Book ended by plenty of zombies and exciting action at the beginning and the end, the middle – in which the story focuses on characters whose back-stories aren’t terribly interesting – seems a bit slow and out of place. Still, that small flaw is more than made up for with a cameo from Bill Murray (one of the funniest and most unexpected parts of the movie) and the climactic ending, which is in fact facilitated by the slightly boring middle.

My only problem was with Jesse Eisenberg, who plays the same character in every movie (The Squid and the Whale, Adventureland, The Education of Charlie Banks) - and that character just so happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Stop dredging up hideous memories, Mr. Eisenberg!

I guess no one else will have this problem, though.

Saturday Birthday

2009-10-10T22:37:00.011-04:00

This Saturday was my dad's birthday, so my parents and my gram came to visit! As usual, we had a jolly old time. We started out by visiting relatives who have a sauce shop in Rock Hall (Sauced on Main). I wish I had had the foresight to take some pictures because their shop is the cutest, brightest little place, surrounded by other quaint little shops and the sound of Jimmy Buffett. It's such a fun place to visit. Anyway, Tommy and Skye are the nicest people in the world, I'm pretty sure, and hopefully Corey and I will be going to visit them again sometime in the near future. Dad stocked up on lots of sauce (ha), and I got some of the most delicious-smelling, handmade soap from Mother's Nature Soaps (isn't it nice how everyone in the world has a web site these days? I particularly recommend the Pumpkin Apple Butter soap or sugar scrub!). Yum.

Then we went to the Harbor Shack for dinner and sat out on the porch overlooking the water and gave Dad his presents!

First we gave out the cards, which Mom and Dad mulled over with requisite seriousness......that is, until we got to Gram's card, which read as follows:That card was from my gram. Let it sink in. (Addendum: Can someone explain to me why this card features a cartoon image of a dog? Of all things, why a puppy?) Gram was slightly embarrassed to allow a young woman (me) to see the aforementioned card, but then she took up her brewski and proclaimed, "That's just how I roll!"Then of course we posed in the front of the water. That's just what you do in these situations.
Don't let my mom's and gram's expressions fool you - they actually were having fun, my dad just took too long to take the picture. All in all, I'd say it was a pretty memorable day.

Next week I'm going to New York to visit my dear, sadly post grad friends, Erin and Aubrey. Yay! Hopefully it won't rain the whole time we're there...

I have creepy taste in presents...

2009-10-02T14:50:00.008-04:00

I've been terribly busy lately with homework and my thesis, so I'm afraid life is simply not interesting enough to write about, even if I had the time. It's Friday, but I have a thesis chapter to finish, an 18th century lit paper to write, a book to read, and a poem to write! Eek. I've also been trying to get on the phone with my doctor to ask her one simple question for the past week, which takes up a surprising amount of time (it's almost as bad as attempting to get tech support, but not quite). So, yeah. Sorry for the utter lack of writing going on here lately, but all my brainpower is currently being sucked up by The Looming Thesis.

However, in the spirit of fall (my favorite season), I've compiled a list of some very fabulous, very creepy Etsy shops to get you in the mood for Halloween!

1. Artista Muerta - This shop has gorgeous earrings, bracelets, prints, and other things all inspired by the Day of the Dead.

Top Pick: The flaming heart rosary. A gorgeous art piece, and little blasphemous, which makes it even cooler...2. Freaky Little Things - Features gothic dolls and other "oddities."

Top pick: The Agatha art doll - she's creepy but not overtly so.
3. Illustrated Ink - Prints, jewelry and more inspired by old school Day of the Dead tattoo designs.

Top pick: The Sugar Skull Gypsy Mask - would be great for part of a Halloween costume, but it's also a piece of art in its own right.4. My Pretty Zombie - This shop has jewelry and some other things, but the what makes it a truly original shop is its zombie Barbies! You can even get a zombie Barbie customized to look like you... now if only there was a Jennifer's Body zombie, I'd buy it.

Top pick: Zombie Sleepover, hands down.
5. The Gingerdead Shoppe - This shop features intricate prints, cards and jewelry based on the artist's web comic, Gingerdead.

Top pick: This cute Haiku Halloween card.
Yes, I do have creepy taste.

P.S. If your shop is featured and you don't want it to be, or would like me to remove a picture, please just let me know and I'll be glad to oblige!

Fantastic Friday

2009-09-25T13:54:00.009-04:00

Okay, I swear I'm going to quit with the alliteration/day-specific titles now. I just couldn't help myself.

Today really IS fantastic, though! First of all, I got a new book bag the other day (the strap broke on my old one... I carry far too many books, someone please inform my professors), and while the inside has awesome bird-one-a-wire print lining, the outside is rather plain. Thus, I visited my dear old friend Etsy.com for a cheap way to spruce it up, and I came upon Barrel of Monkeys. This shop sells adorable, original, handmade pinback buttons, like these six that just came in the mail for me today!:Aren't they cool? I love them. Plus, Barrel of Monkeys is having a sale - six of these awesome buttons (and there are about a billion designs to choose from) for five dollars. Yay! My bag is about to look so much cuter.

So getting those was a nice start to my day. Then I got my school newspaper and found that Corey got fantastic review on his performance as Jerry in Edward Albee's Zoo Story. He was actually described as "enrapturing." Nice. How proud can I be of something I had nothing to with?

Now, this weekend is Fall Family Weekend here at school and everyone I know either has family visiting or is going home - except for me. My parents came last weekend to deliver my new car (!), which is actually my dad's old car, but entirely new to me. Anyway, the point being, they're not visiting. But! I'm not sad at all because I have a marvelous weekend planned. Here it is:

1. Work on my thesis - Okay, that doesn't sound amazing... and it's not. But it needs to be done, and I have few things to distract me now, so that is a good thing.
2. Reading the paper - I actually really, really love to read my school paper. There are few things more enjoyable to me than sitting down with the paper and a Snapple and reading it front to back.
3. Movies, pizza, and wine - I have Superbad, The Strangers, and Ten Things I Hate About You (an odd bunch, I realize, but I need something funny before and after The Strangers so I'm not scared out of my mind all night), and I plan to watch them all with a Domino's pizza and a bottle of Cabernet. Don't worry, though (Mom), I only plan to have a glass or two.

So there it is. I have to say, as much as I miss Corey when he goes home (and I do), I relish my time alone. I've always been that way; I need time to myself to function with other people out in the world the rest of the time. I like to read, watch my guilty pleasure shows, draw or write. I'm almost never lonely. But in college it's incredibly rare to be completely alone for more than a few minutes! And I don't mind that either - I love my friends. But it's nice once in a while to have some time totally to myself.

Here's hoping everyone else is doing something they love this weekend!

Thoughts for a Thursday: Afraid to call yourself a feminist?

2009-09-24T10:26:00.005-04:00

"I call myself a feminist. Isn't that what you call someone who fights for women's rights?" --the Dalai Lama, to an audience in Memphis yesterday.

Because, put simply, that's what a feminist is. If you care about women's rights... guess what, you are one (whether you admit to it or not). One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says they aren't a feminist because, although they do believe in equal rights for women, they aren't a "man-hater" or a "feminazi." As if that's what it means to be feminist. I think the Dalai Lama proves that idea false, don't you?

And now I'll refer you to my favorite post on the subject: Yes, You Are.

words out loud

2009-09-23T21:28:00.007-04:00

Does anyone else out there find sharing work in class to be incredibly draining? Let me preface this by saying that, having been in college for three years already, I'm fine at actively participating in class discussions. I can talk about 18th Century essays or Shakespeare's many plays all the day long (not happily, but I can...). I can talk about Wallace Stevens or James Joyce and analyze their works. The typical class size at my college is 10 to 20 students and I'm an English major (critical thinking, anyone?), so speaking up in class is generally pretty important. And that's fine with me. Sure, I blush uncontrollably at the most random times, for absolutely no reason... but not nearly as often as I did freshman year! Ha. Anyway.

Poetry workshop is in a whole other league for me, though. Poetry is by far my favorite form of writing - I've been doing it (without even realizing it at first) since I was a little kid. It makes sense to me. It's the most effective way for me to work through things, to let out emotions and memories, and sometimes it's the only way I can say what I mean to say. It just seems natural to express myself that way. But printing it out on a piece of paper and letting a class full of people read all those things? That's hard.
I love my poetry workshop - I love the professor (and the professor's poetry), I like the people, I think everyone has great ideas and criticisms... but every week I leave class feeling like crying. Not because I'm sad, but - and I realize this may sound ridiculously over-dramatic - because I just feel so empty at the end of it all. Like every thought has been taken from me, every feeling. It's all been exposed and tossed around that classroom. My poetry is so personal to me, so revealing, and while I don't want to put it in a journal and hide it from the rest of the world, talking about it (me) is one of the hardest things to do.

I'm not big on public speaking. I'm not great at expressing myself out loud. I have to write things down to sort out my thoughts, which is one of the reasons I love poetry. And I love that I have the opportunity to make my poetry better (I honestly do - I wouldn't give up this workshop for anything); I guess I just didn't realize how hard it might be. Does anyone else feel this way about writing?

Oh darn, I'm just like everyone else.

2009-09-21T21:06:00.005-04:00

Today I had a meeting with my college career counselor, and it was great! Much more informative and useful than I ever expected it could be. However, there was one bit of advice that I was loathe to follow: "Join Twitter."

You may already know of my intense aversion to this particular form of "media." I just really, really don't get it. If I want to talk to my friends, I call or text them on the phone. If I want to talk to them online, I instant message them. So that eliminates Twitter as a social tool as far as I'm concerned.

Then you have all the people who update their Twitters with comments like "Just ate a bowl of cereal." Not to mention celebrities who have banal, idiotic arguments via Twitter, 140 characters at a time. Riveting. And pointless. So... that eliminates Twitter as an outlet for narcissism, because I'm just not interested.

However, apparently Twitter is now a useful part of networking. Who knew?! I'm still rather skeptical, and I don't intend on actually saying anything myself. However, I just started following the American Copy Editors Society and several job search sites to keep on top of their updates and upcoming events... so we'll see if I find it useful after all. Since I'll probably be so mediocre at networking in person (ha), I figure I should do it online as much as possible, even if I think it's kind of silly.

My major point being: I've given in to the evil that is (in my opinion) Twitter. But I still refuse to reactivate my Facebook account (because um, I've replaced it with LinkedIn now instead).

I just saw "Jennifer's Body"...

2009-09-19T03:44:00.007-04:00

...And I liked it. I was predisposed both to love and hate it, so I think my opinion is fairly unbiased. It was written by Diablo Cody, the same woman who wrote Juno, so obviously I was hoping for some clever, realistic female characters, a la Ellen Page. At the same time I was skeptical, to say the least, about the decision to cast Megan Fox, an actress best known for her one-dimensional performance in Transformers, in a leading role. And finally, incredibly conflicting reviews gave me even less an idea of what I could expect, and so I went to the theater hoping for the best and prepared for the worst.

In short, I don’t think this movie is either. It’s certainly not the genre-breaking, earth-shattering piece de resistance that Diablo Cody was probably going for, but it’s also not nearly the piece of trash some critics are purporting it to be. It’s a witty, dark, and in some ways flawed take on the horror genre, female friendships, and high school drama.

Jennifer and Anita (or “Needy,” played by Amanda Seyfried) are best friends, but it’s clear from the beginning that it’s a toxic, abusive friendship. Needy is a good-girl geek, while Jennifer is the hottest girl in school. As many girls can attest to, Jennifer is obviously keeping Needy around to make herself feel better, because despite being the most lusted-after girl in Devil’s Kettle, Minnesota, Jennifer is also deeply insecure. It’s a fairly common situation among teenaged girls, but it all gets much more complicated when Jennifer is sacrificed to the devil by a guyliner-wearing emo band, fronted humorously by Adam Brody. She then of course becomes a boy-eating succubus and an even less appealing best friend to Needy.

Toxic female friendship is a fantastic idea for a horror movie, if you ask me, and director Karyn Kusama does a good job giving the film a campy, self-consciously cheesy vibe. However, while at times Jennifer’s Body is deliciously cheesy, the overall tone of the movie isn’t consistent. It seems as though Kusama wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted this to be campy or scary, a genre film or an actual horror film – and it’s simply not scary enough to be a horror film. There are some incredibly creepy moments, but it’s devoid of any truly scary moments. I personally wish Kusama had gone all out and made it a completely campy flick, because I think it had the potential to be the next Heathers, showing once and for all that “Hell is a teenage girl.” But sadly (to me), it doesn’t quite go there.

Which brings me to my next point: the dialogue. Or rather, the Cody-isms. In Heathers, the outlandish slang fit seamlessly into the script and was wielded perfectly by the actors. Phrases like “What’s your damage?” and “Lick it up!” became part of a cult culture. In Cody’s first script, Juno, “Honest to blog?” and the constant use of the word “vadge” seemed timely, if a little overdone. However, the slang in Jennifer’s Body, sticks out in every instance, and is more of a distraction than anything else. Jennifer says “Jell-O” instead of jealous, she advises Needy to “Move-on dot org,” and Needy’s boyfriend uses the word “dilhole” in earnest. I’m sorry, but if that’s how adults think kids are talking these days, they’re just so very, very wrong. If, on the other hand, Cody was simply trying to inject her trademark witticisms into the script, I’d say the effort was a little heavy-handed. Furthermore, the actors themselves don’t seem comfortable with much of the dialogue, making many conversations stilted and unrealistic.

The actors aren’t amazing, either. Megan Fox isn’t bad, not by a long shot, but she does what she’s told and nothing more. She doesn’t bring much more than a surface sexiness to the character of Jennifer, and her insecurity (an important part of her character and the plot) isn’t adequately conveyed until almost the very end of the entire movie. Amanda Seyfried doesn’t shine either (though it seems plausible that the blame lies more with the director than with Seyfried), but does a better job of playing a multifaceted character.

And then there's the much-hyped girl-on-girl makeout scene. On the one hand, it makes sense given the situation: when it happens, Jennifer is losing Needy's trust, and so she attempts to get it back the only way she knows how - by using her all-encompassing uber-sexuality. On the other hand, the French kissing goes on a little to long to remain plausible, making it seem kind of cheap and exploitative when all is said and done. Diablo Cody admitted to this scene being partly a ploy to get male viewers, so at least she's self-aware about it... right?

Despite all of my complaints, though, there are so many great things about Jennifer’s Body. Cody plays with stereotypical female tropes like the “good girl” and “bad girl” in ways that are rarely explored in film, especially within the horror genre. Just to have a female screenwriter writing interesting, atypical parts for women is heartening. Teen sexuality is also looked at in a more realistic, multi-layered way; shockingly enough, “good girls” do have sex, and in this horror movie a woman doesn’t have to be a virgin to survive to the end. And finally, Adam Brody is hilarious as Nikolai, the Satan-worshipping band’s lead singer – even as he’s preparing to stab a girl to death. In fact, the movie has tons of hilarious moments that I've truly not talked up enough. This is a funny movie, and it's supposed to be (which is something I don't think everyone realizes).

If you’re a fan of Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Drag Me to Hell), or Teeth, I’d say definitely go see this. If you’re a fan of Heathers or Mean Girls, you might be in luck. If you just want to see Megan Fox naked, I wouldn’t bother. She only shows a little side boob.

Put simply: grown men often act like fools, and I'm tired of it!

2009-09-14T13:37:00.007-04:00

I'm going to make a parallel here that at first may seem a bit facetious, but stay with me. First, Joe Wilson shouted "You lie!" during President Obama's speech last week (a truly low and pathetic moment in American history, if you ask me), and last night at the MTV Video Music Awards Kanye West invaded the stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to say that she didn't deserve her award:

A little facetious, I know. But stay with me.

First of all, I fully recognize that the first event far outweighs the second in seriousness and offensiveness. During Wilson's outburst I once again remembered what it feels like to be embarrassed to be an American, and I don't think I'll ever forgive the state of South Carolina for putting that man into office (sorry, folks). I realize that Kanye West ruining Taylor Swift's "moment" isn't nearly as big an issue, or as terrible. But still, there's a very obvious parallel between these two events: Americans (maybe people in general, but it's just so glaringly apparent here in America these days) don't know when to shut the hell up. It appears that many of us have lost our filters, our thoughtfulness, our very ability to think before we speak. Sure, we have "free speech" - but how many of us have forgotten the true meaning of that privilege?

It can't be denied that both Joe Wilson and Kanye West have many other channels available to them to voice their opinions. These are not oppressed people I'm talking about; these are two very powerful, rich men who have all the ability in the world to make their opinions known in acceptable, grown up ways, and yet they both chose this incredibly rude, childish method of expressing themselves - by shouting like little children during someone else's time. Once again, it truly embarrasses me and, I hope, the rest of America.

But what's my point here, other than embarrassment? I'm going to drop the whole Taylor Swift thing, because it's obviously not the real issue here (it simply brought the issue to mind). My point is that while I'm embarrassed by these events, I am proud to have a president who chooses his own words so thoughtfully, who does not retaliate in kind with childish taunts or careless words. I'm proud to have a president who hopefully will inspire this quality in others, in a society where mindful, prudent thinking seems highly undervalued and the loudest idiot gets all the attention.

I like to think of myself as one of those more ruminative people, the kind who uses words more carefully and sparingly (well, not too sparingly!), and I hope to maintain that about myself, even when all of society is telling me to just be louder, be more obnoxious, get publicity in any way possible - even if that means screaming like a spoiled child - because that's the only way to make your ideas count! I choose to hope, hope that that's not true, and that in the end reason and real thinking will win out. Maybe you, too, can help to make that happen.

Addendum: So I just found this on YouTube - apparently I'm not the only one who made this connection ;)

A quick note on the state of my life.

2009-09-09T20:00:00.006-04:00

I am proud to say that I am now officially on track - thesis-wise, homework-wise, and as of today, career-wise! Okay, not really on that last one... but I did schedule my senior appointment, wherein I will plan my future career and the rest of my life, at least according to my career counselor. I also got my snazzy "senior packet," which includes many sheets of paper with foreign words on them like "Interviewing Tips" and "Resume Building" and "Fall Career Center Lecture Events." Oh boy! I can't wait to build my career, my future, my LIFE... one lecture at a time.

But seriously, I am kind of excited about the whole thing. At least I'm still in the planning stages - planning has always been the fun part for me. I love organizing, making lists and outlines, doing research (when I was twelve my parents told me I could get a dog; I spent the next year doing research on what the best breed for our house would be!)... and for the next eight months or so, that's all I have to do. You know, aside from going to class and, oh yeah, finishing that little thing I like to call The Looming Thesis. But at least for a little while longer, I can hold "the real world" at a distance - which makes it look so much more fun than it probably will be at first...

...And that's all I really have to say right now. I have to do large amounts of homework now in order to make my first statement remain true.

Suggestions for a rainy monday...

2009-09-07T10:21:00.002-04:00

Read: Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro – perfectly poignant and melancholy.
Watch: Boy Meets World on surfthechannel.com – nothing cheers me up like a Corey and Topanga plotline.
Drink: A hot cup of tea with honey or a glass of red wine in bed (preferably the latter at night, but whatever floats your boat).
Listen: To Rilo Kiley, especially “The Execution of All Things.”
Delete: One time-sucking thing in your life – Facebook? channel surfing? sleeping in?
Complete: One thing you’ve been avoiding all this time. For me, that’s going to be getting my thesis outline fully squared away – today!
Realize: That not everything has to get done today. Just that one thing.

The Vibrating Life

2009-09-06T14:39:00.005-04:00

Remember that scene in Se7en where Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Pitt, and Morgan Freeman are all having dinner together in Gwyneth and Brad's new apartment? And the train goes by and the whole place starts shaking? And Morgan Freeman says, "Just a soothing, relaxing, vibrating home, huh?" Well, that was me last night. Trying to sleep on the top floor of a raging, techno-pop party. Seriously, techno? But on the bright side, it totally beats trying to sleep on the floor below the raging techno-pop party. (Honestly, I'm not even complaining because living below the Skateboard Sluts - who routinely skateboarded in their room, inches above my head, at 1AM - last year was so much worse!)

In all honesty, though, college has quickly gone from fun, hey look it's all my friends!, let's hang out and order pizza.... to full-on survival mode. First of all, maintaining my newly-healthier diet and workout routine - which, at home, seemed so low-maintenance and simple - is incredibly difficult here. Instead of reaching for delicious, fresh fruit and vegetables from my fridge, I'm struggling in my school dining hall to get one serving of either per meal that I can actually stomach, let alone make them my main source of nutrition. I've basically resorted to eating anything - anything! - that mildly stimulates my taste buds, which often means a hot dog, chicken tenders, or loads of over-cooked white pasta. Not exactly the epitome of healthfulness I was aiming for. Not to mention I've dined on not one but two pizzas this week - though in one case I was out with my boyfriend's parents, so I choose to give myself a free pass on that one!

As for working out, it's a lot harder to get my workout in every morning before going to lunch at 12. At home I always ate closer to 1, and for some reason that extra hour was quite helpful. I'm also staying up later than I did at home, a byproduct of dorm living, I guess. I still squeeze the workout in most days, but it's harder than I thought it would be.

Add to that my workload and the general craziness of being back in a dorm (with - gasp! - other college students, many of whom do not share my new found early-to-bed-early-to-rise philosophy), and I life has become a bit more complicated. How quickly I've begun to long for the lazy days of summer again...